Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
In the midst of all I suddenly cast my eyes upon a goodly large
looking-glass that hung against the wall, and saw my reflection
therein. It was the image of Mr. I. Dulmer Dawkins! his exact
representation, perfect in beard and visage, save that the former was
in great disorder, and the latter somewhat white, and equally perfect
in figure, as far as I could compare a man in buff and linen to one in
the full panoply of the tailor.
"My ged!" said I, "I am transformed again!"
And with that I made a hop up to the glass to look at myself closer.
There was no mistaking the matter, even if the looking-glass had. I
looked at my legs, and I gave a tweak at my mustaches. My shoulders
were elegantly narrow, and my foot as sound as a savage's. I jumped up,
cut a pigeon-wing, and then, descending, attempted a ballet-dancer's
pirouette; after which I looked again into the glass. I was a young man
of twenty-five, and the most elegant fellow I ever laid eyes on!
I ran to Jack, and hugged him round the neck, crying, "Lard, Jack, you
rogue, I'm the most comical creature that ever lived!"
"Ay," said he, smothering with laughter and my embraces together; "but
what made you drown yourself?"
I recollected all about it, and suddenly felt astonished. I remembered
how I had jumped into the water, and how I had fished myself out, as
dead as a poker; that is, how Mr. Higginson had fished me, or rather
how I had fished Mr. Dawkins. I remembered how I, John Hazlewood
Higginson, had wished to be Mr. I. Dulmer Dawkins, and now I was Mr. I.
Dulmer Dawkins himself, and nobody but he. I sat down on the bedside,
marvelling how such a thing could be; and the wonder of it was indeed
amazing. That my spirit should creep into a man's body, though strange
enough, was not so prodigiously surprising; but that my spirit and
body together (for I did not know it had been otherwise disposed of),
especially so corpulent a one as John H. Higginson's, should get into
one--that was truly marvellous.
But my study was brought to an end by Tickle suddenly exclaiming, with
a voice of concern, "Curse him! gad, poor fellow, I believe he has
washed his wits out! He has gone mad!"
"No more than you have," said I, shaking him by the hand; "but you must
allow it is a most extraordinary affair."
"'Pon honour, yes," said he, laughing as hard as ever; "but what made
you throw yourself into the river?"
"Why," said I, in a hurry, "to save Dawkins."
"To save Dawkins!!!" said he, looking at me as one would look at a
shoemaker who brings a pair of shoes home the day he has promised them.
"That is," said I, "to save Higginson."
"To save Higginson!!!" he cried, with such a roar of laughter as made
my teeth rattle; "why there were twenty people saw Higginson drag _you_
out! I say, Dawky, no lillibullering--what did you jump into the river
for?"
"I jumped," said I, quite in a quandary, "after my hat."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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