Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
With that, the bloody-minded miscreant seized upon a fragment of plank,
and began to belabour me with all his strength.
I had entered the philanthropist's body only to be murdered. I uttered
a direful scream; but that was only a waste of the breath which Mr.
John Smith was determined to waste for me. He redoubled his blows with
a vigour that showed he was in earnest; nor did he cease until his work
was completed. In a word, he murdered me, and so effectually, that it
is a wonder I am alive to tell it. He assassinated me, and even began
to bury me, by tumbling earth down from the floor; when, as my good
fate would have it, the scene was brought to a climax by the sudden
entrance of a watchman, who, running up to the villain, served him the
same turn he had served me, by laying a leaded mace over his head, and
so knocking him out of his senses.
It seems (for I scorn to keep the reader in suspense, by indulging in
mystery) that this faithful fellow, having made a shorter nap than
was warranted by the state of the night, had taken a stroll into the
air, to look about him; that he had passed the hovel, and, seeing the
chair standing at the door, had looked through a crack, and perceived
Mr. Longstraw, with whose person and benevolent character he was
acquainted, and myself--that is, my late self--warming ourselves by the
convict's fire; and that, after pursuing his beat for a while, he was
about to return by another way, when, to his surprise, he lighted upon
the vehicle at more than a square's distance from the house; and the
horse being tied to a post, it was evident he had not strayed thither.
This awaking a suspicion that all was not right, he determined to pay
a second visit to the hovel; and was on the way thither when I set up
the scream mentioned before. Then quickening his pace, he arrived in
time to witness the awful spectacle of Mr. John Smith thrusting the two
bodies into the pit; which operation the courageous watchman brought to
a close by knocking the operator on the head, as I have related.
What had brought Mr. John Smith back again, and why he should have
troubled himself to conceal the victim of his murderous cupidity, must
be conjectured, as well as the amazement with which, doubtless, he
found he had _two_ bodies to bury instead of one. He perhaps reflected,
that the visit of his patron was known to other persons; who, upon
finding his body, would readily conjecture who was the murderer; and
therefore judged it proper to conceal the evidence of assassination,
and leave the fate of his benefactor in entire mystery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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