The judges stared at each other and then at Ollie. For a moment the
entire audience sat in awed silence, as if watching a miracle. Then the
mood of awe passed.
One of the judges said wisely, "He palms them and slips them to a
confederate."
"Out here on the stage?" demanded another judge. "Where's his
confederate? Besides, you can see for yourself that he eats them. You
can watch them going down his throat."
"But that's impossible. If they really went down his throat, he'd gain
weight."
"I don't know how he does it," admitted the other. "But he does."
"The man is a freak. Let's get some doctors over here."
Ollie ate another hundred and forty-three eggs, and then had to stop
because the restaurant ran out of them. The other contestants never
even had a chance to get started.
* * * * *
When the doctor came and they told him the story, his first impulse
seemed to be to grin. He knew a practical joke when he heard one. But
they put Ollie on the scales--by this time he weighed only a hundred
thirty-eight and a quarter pounds--and fed him a two pound loaf of
bread. Then they weighed him again.
He was an even one hundred and thirty-eight.
"At this rate, he'll starve to death," said the doctor, who opened his
little black bag and proceeded to give Ollie a thorough examination.
Ollie was very unhappy about it because it interfered with his eating,
and he felt more hungry than ever. But they promised to feed him
afterward and, more or less unwillingly, he submitted.
"Bad teeth, enlarged heart, lesion on each lung, flat feet, hernia,
displaced vertebrae--you name it and he has it," said the doctor.
"Where the devil did he come from?"
Ollie was working on an order of roast beef and was too busy to reply.
Somebody said, "He's a rag-picker. I've seen him around."
"When did he start this eating spree?"
With stuffed mouth, Ollie mumbled, "Today."
"Today, eh? What happened today that makes you able to eat so much?"
"I just feel hungry."
"I can see that. Look, how about going over to the hospital so we can
really examine you?"
"No, sir," said Ollie. "You ain't pokin' no needles into me."
"No needles," agreed the doctor hastily. If there was no other way to
get blood samples, they could always drug him with morphine and he'd
never know what had happened. "We'll just look at you. And we'll feed
you all you can eat."
"All I can eat? It's a deal!"
* * * * *
The humor was crude, but it put the point across--the photographer
assigned to the contest had snapped a picture of Ollie in the middle of
gulping two eggs. One was traveling down his gullet, causing a lump in
his throat, and the other was being stuffed into his mouth at the same
time. The caption writer had entitled the shot: THE MAN WHO BROKE
THE ICEBOX AT MONTE'S, and the column alongside was headed, Eats
Three Hundred and Forty-three Eggs. "I'm Hungry!" He Says.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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