The Short Snorter BY CHARLES EINSTEIN _His saucer was parked in the woods, and Mr. Steariot (from Venus) was parked in the lobby...._ [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Worlds of If Science Fiction, August 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] Three paths led through the woods away from the resort hotel, and of the three two were clearly marked: one with a sign that said it led to the lake, the other pointing toward the golf links. The third pathway was unmarked, and this was the one that inevitably the lovers and the honeymooners took--the path that Alice and Fred Daniels followed today. The sun was unusually warm for this time of year, but only a few yards along the pathway Fred and Alice were swallowed up by the great and near-great trees of the forest. The sunlight was, except for an occasional patch of light here and there, warded away by the foliage above. The forest was very quiet. The pathway bridged a silent brook, and then, perhaps a third of a mile into the woods, turned abruptly to the left and the woods became even more dense, the pathway narrow. Through the trees to the right at this point was a clearing, an unusual grassy circle perhaps sixty yards in diameter. It was not the clearing itself, however, but, instead, the glint of color in the sunlight that caused Fred and Alice to stop and look. Alice said, "Fred, what is that?" "Don't know," he said. "Something red. Let's look." The two of them turned off the path and made their way through a dismal barrage of thicket to the clearing that lay beyond. When they got there, they saw the circular object--_vehicle_ might be a better word. It was possibly fifteen yards in diameter. It seemed to be made of three rings, smaller ones bottom and top and the larger one ribbing the center, and to be constructed of some kind of plastic. Between the central and upper rings were set a series of small windows. The entire thing was painted a gaudy red. "What do you think it is?" Fred said. "A flying saucer," Alice said promptly. She laughed a little, but clutched at her husband's arm. "Isn't it?" "I don't know." "But what else would it be?" "I don't know," Fred said again. "Let's look inside." "Fred," Alice said, "You'd better not--" "Don't be silly," he said, and walked resolutely up to the object and, standing on tiptoe, peered through one of the windows. "What is it?" Alice called from the edge of the clearing. "What do you see?" "It's empty," he called back. "What's inside?" Fred shook his head. "You won't believe it." "What?" "It's got a steering wheel," he called out hollowly. "And some dials." "My goodness," Alice said. "Is it a real one?"