Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"Now, you South Brooklyn kike," I goes on, maybe more realistic than I
meant, "I got you right, ain't I? And all I got to do is push in a
half-arm jolt like this, and----"
Well, then I looks up. Neither of us has noticed her come in, hadn't
even heard the knob turn; but standin' there in the middle of the room
and starin' straight at us is a perfectly good female lady.
That don't half tell it, either. She's all lady, from the tips of her
double-A pumps to the little gray wing peekin' over the top of her dingy
gray bonnet. One of these slim, dainty, graceful built parties, with
white, lacy stuff at her wrists and throat, and the rest of her costume
all gray: not the puckered-waist, half-masted skirt effects all the
women are wearin' now. I can't say what year's model it was, or how far
back; but it's a style that seems just fitted to her: maybe one that
she's invented herself. Around thirty-five, I should judge she was, from
the little streak of gray runnin' through her front hair.
What got me, though, was the calm, remote, superior look that she's
givin' us. She don't seem nervous or panicky at all, like most women
would, breakin' in on a roughhouse scene like that. She don't even stare
reprovin', but stands there watchin' us as serene as if we wa'n't
anything more'n pictures on a movie sheet. And there we was, holdin' the
pose; me with my right all bunched for action, and Swifty with his face
to the mat. Seemed minutes we was clinched there, and everything so
still you could hear Swifty's heavy breathin' all over the room.
Course I was waitin' for some remarks from her. You'd most think they
was due, wouldn't you? It's my private office, remember, and she's sort
of crashed in unannounced. If any explainin' was done, it was up to her
to start it. And waitin' for what don't come is apt to get on your
nerves.
"Eh?" I throws over my shoulder at her.
Her straight eyebrows kind of humps in the middle--that's all.
"Did you say anything?" I goes on.
"No," says she. If she'd smiled sort of faint, or even glared stern at
us, it wouldn't have been so bad. But she just presses her lips
together--thin, narrow-gage lips, they was--and goes on givin' us that
distant, unconcerned look.
Meanwhile Swifty, with his face bent towards the floor, ain't gettin'
any view at all, and is only guessin' what's happenin'. He squirms
impatient.
"Say, Shorty," he grumbles, "I got a few bones in me neck, remember.
Break, can't you?"
And as I loosens my hold he straightens up, only to get the full benefit
of that placid, ladylike lookover.
"Ahr-r-r chee!" says he, glancin' disgusted at me. Then he starts
gettin' rosy in the ears, like he always does when there's fluffs
around, and after one more hasty look he bolts back into the gym.
The strange lady watches this move like she has everything else, only
she shrugs her shoulders a bit. What she meant by that I couldn't make
out. I was gettin' to the point where I didn't care so much, either.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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