Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"Well, Ma'am?" says I.
"Poor fellow!" says she. "I am glad he escaped that brutal blow."
"Are you?" says I. "Well, don't waste too much sympathy on him; for I
was only demonstratin' how----"
"You might offer me a chair," she breaks in sort of casual.
"Why--er--sure!" says I, and before I knew it I was jumpin' to drag one
up.
She settles into it without even a nod of thanks.
"You see," I goes on, "he's my assistant, and I was tryin' to show him
how----"
"It's rather stuffy here," observes the lady. "Couldn't you open a
window?"
It's more an order than anything else; but I hops over and shoves the
sash wide open.
"That's too much," says she. "It causes a draft."
So I shuts it halfway. Then I gets her a glass of water. "Anything else
you'd like?" says I, tryin' to be sarcastic. "The mornin' paper, or----"
"Where is Mr. Steele?" she demands.
"Oh!" says I, gettin' a little light on the mystery. "J. Bayard, you
mean?"
"Of course," says she. "He was not at his hotel, and as this was the
other address I was given I expected to find him here."
"Huh!" says I. "Gave you this number, did he? Well, you see, this is my
Physical Culture Studio, and while he's apt to be here off and on, it
ain't his----"
"Just such a place as I might have anticipated finding Bayard in," says
she, glancin' around the front office at the portraits in ring costume
and so on. "Quite!"
"Let's see," says I, "you are--er----"
"I am Mrs. Lee Hollister," says she, "of Richmond, Virginyah."
"I might have suspicioned that last," says I, "by the way you----"
But she don't give me a show to register any little slam I might have
thought of puttin' over. She's the kind that conducts a conversation
accordin' to her own rules, and she never hesitates to cut in.
"I want to know what there is about this will of Mr. Gordon's," she
demands. "Some absurd legacy, I presume; at least, my solicitor, Colonel
Henderson, seemed to think so. I suppose you've heard of Colonel Britt
Henderson?"
"Not a whisper," says I, as defiant as I know how.
She expresses her opinion of such ignorance with a little lift of her
pointed chin. "Colonel Henderson," she goes on, "is perhaps the ablest
and most brilliant attorney in Virginyah. He is connected with the best
families in the State."
"Never heard of anybody from down there that wa'n't," says I. "And while
I ain't disputin' him, mind you, his guess about this bein' a legacy
is----"
"Will Mr. Steele be in soon?" she asks crisp.
"Might," says I, "and then again he mightn't."
"It's rather rude of him to keep me waiting," says she.
"Maybe if you'd sent word ahead," I suggests, "he'd been on hand. But
now you've come all this way----"
"You don't suppose," breaks in Mrs. Hollister, "that I came north just
for that? Not at all. It was to select a design for the memorial window
I am having placed in our church, in memory of poor, dear Professor
Hollister. My late husband, you know; and a most noble, talented,
courtly gentleman he was too."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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