Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
All the way down, the old girl has her eye out for wickedness. The
sight of Adolph, the grocery clerk, dippin' his beak into a mug of
froth, moves her to sit up and give him the stony glare; while a
glimpse of a young couple snugglin' up against each other along the
rail almost gives her a spasm.
"Such brazen depravity!" says she to the Bishop.
By the time we lands at the iron pier she has knocked Coney so much
that I has worked up a first class grouch.
"Come on!" says I. "Let's have Maggie's address and get through with
this rescue business before all you good folks is soggy with sin."
Then it turns out she ain't got any address at all. The most she knows
is that Maggie's somewhere on the island.
"Well," I shouts into the tube, "Coney's something of a place, you see!
What's your idea of findin' her?"
"We must search," says Aunt Isabella, prompt and decided.
"Mean to throw out a regular drag net?" says I.
She does. Well, say, if you've ever been to Coney on a good day, when
there was from fifty to a hundred thousand folks circulatin' about,
you've got some notion of what a proposition of that kind means.
Course, I wa'n't goin to tackle the job with any hope of gettin' away
with it; but right there I'm struck with a pleasin' thought.
"Do I gather that I'm to be the Commander Peary of this expedition?"
says I.
It was a unanimous vote that I was.
"Well," says I, "you know you can't carry it through on hot air. It
takes coin to get past the gates in this place."
Aunt Isabella says she's prepared to stand all the expense. And what
do you suppose she passes out? A green five!
"Ah, say, this ain't any Sunday school excursion," says I. "Why, that
wouldn't last us a block. Guess you'll have to dig deeper or call it
off."
She was game, though. She brings up a couple of tens next dip, the
Bishop adds two more, and I heaves in one on my own hook.
"Now understand," says I, "if I'm headin' this procession there mustn't
be any hangin' back or arguin' about the course. Coney's no place for
a quitter, and there's some queer corners in it; but we're lookin' for
a particular party, so we can't skip any. Follow close, don't ask me
fool questions, and everybody keep their eye skinned for Maggie. Is
that clear?"
They said it was.
"Then we're off in a bunch. This way!" says I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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