Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"Ain't there somethin' more, Rusty?" says I. "You know the house is
yours."
"Well," says he, after a few puffs, "if this is to be a long wait, a
little music would help. There's a piano over in the corner."
I looks at the doc. and shakes my head. He shakes back.
"I used to play a few hymns," says the student.
"Forget 'em, then," says Rusty. "A hymn would finish me, sure. What
I'd like is somethin' lively."
"Doc.," says I, "would it hurt?"
"Couldn't," says he. Also he whispers that he'd use chloroform, only
Rusty's heart's too bad, and if he wants ragtime to deal it out.
"Wish I could," says I; "but maybe I can find some one who can."
With that I slips out and hunts up Mrs. Twombley-Crane, explainin' the
case to her.
"Why, certainly," says she. "Where is Effie? I'll send her in right
away."
She's a real damson plum, Effie is; one of the cute, fluffy haired
kind, about nineteen. She comes in lookin' scared and sober; but when
she's had a look at Rusty, and he's tried his grin on her, and said how
he'd like to hear somebody tear off somethin' that would remind him of
Broadway, she braces right up.
"I know," says she.
And say, she did know! She has us whirl the baby grand around so's she
can glance over the top at Rusty, tosses her lace handkerchief into one
corner of the keyboard, pushes back her sleeves until the elbow dimples
show, and the next thing we know she's teasin' the tumpety-tum out of
the ivories like a professor.
She opens up with a piece you hear all the kids whistlin',--something
with a swing and a rattle to it, I don't know what. But it brings
Rusty up on his elbow and sets him to keepin' time with the cigarette.
Then she slides off into "Poor John!" and Rusty calls out for her to
sing it, if she can. Can she? Why, she's got one of them sterling
silver voices, that makes Vesta Victoria's warblin' sound like blowin'
a fish horn, and before she's half through the first verse Rusty has
joined in.
"Come on!" says he, as they strikes the chorus. "Everybody!"
Say, the doc. was right there with the goods. He roars her out like a
good one; and the student chap wa'n't far behind, either. You know how
it goes--
John, he took me round to see his moth-er, his moth-er, his moth-er!
And while he introduced us to each oth-er--
Eh? Well, maybe that ain't just the way it goes; but I can think the
tune right. That was what I was up against then. I knew I couldn't
make my voice behave; so all I does is go through the motions with my
mouth and tap the time out with my foot. But I sure did ache to jump
in and help Rusty out.
It was a great concert. She gives us all them classic things, like
"The Bird on Nellie's Hat," "Waiting at the Church," "No Wedding Bells
for Me," and so on; her fingers just dancin', and her head noddin' to
Rusty, and her eyes kind of encouragin' him to keep his grip.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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