Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"Well, well, well! Here we are!" he yells through the megaphone. "The
only original Sagawa show on the road, remember! Come early, gents,
and bring your lady friends. The doors of the big tent will open at
eight o'clock--eight o'clock--and at eight-fifteen Mlle. Peroxide, the
near queen of comedy, will cut loose on the coon songs."
"My word!" says the duchess, as she squints through her glasses at the
aggregation.
But the rest of the guests was just ripe for something of the kind.
Mrs. Curlew Brassett, who'd almost worried herself sick at seein' her
party put on the blink by a shop-worn exhibit on the inside and rain on
the out, told Pinckney he could have the medicine tent pitched in the
middle of her Italian garden, if he wanted to. They didn't, though.
They stuck up the round top on the lawn just in front of the stables,
and they hadn't much more'n lit the gasolene flares before the folks
begins to stroll out and hit up the ticket waggon.
"It's the first time I ever had the nerve to charge two dollars a throw
for perches on the blue boards," says Leonidas; "but that friend of
yours, Mr. Pinckney, wanted me to make it five."
Anyway, it was almost worth the money. Mlle. Peroxide, who did the
high and lofty with a job lot of last year coon songs, owned a voice
that would have had a Grand-st. banana huckster down and out; the
monologue man was funny only when he didn't mean to be; and the
black-face banjoist was the limit. Then there was a juggler, and
Montana Kate, who wore buckskin leggins and did a fake rifle-shootin'
act.
I tried to head Leonidas off from sendin' out his tent men, rigged up
in red flannel coats, to sell bottled Sagawa; but he said Pinckney had
told him to be sure and do it. They were birds, them "gentlemanly
ushers."
"I'll bet I know where you picked up a lot of 'em," says I.
"Where?" says Leonidas.
"Off the benches in City Hall park," I says.
"All but one," says he, "and he had just graduated from Snake Hill.
But you didn't take this for one of Frohman's road companies, did you?"
They unloaded the Sagawa, though. The audience wasn't missin'
anything, and most everyone bought a bottle for a souvenir.
"It's the great Indian liver regulator and complexion beautifier," says
Leonidas in his business talk. "It removes corns, takes the soreness
out of stiff muscles, and restores the natural colour to grey hair.
Also, ladies and gents, it can be used as a furniture polish, while a
few drops in the bath is better than a week at Hot Springs."
He was right to home, Leonidas was, and it was a joy to see him. He'd
got himself into a wrinkled dress suit, stuck an opera hat on the back
of his head, and he jollied along that swell mob just as easy as if
they'd been factory hands. And they all seemed glad they'd come.
After it was over Pinckney says that it was too bad to keep such a good
thing all to themselves, and he wants me to see if Leonidas wouldn't
stay and give grand matinee performance next day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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