Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
But Pinckney takes it mighty serious. He says that the dinner at the
club don't count for so much, but that the other affair can't be
sidetracked so easy. It seems that the girl has lived through one
throw down, when the feller skipped off to Europe just as the tie-up
was to be posted, and it wouldn't do to give her a second scare of the
same kind.
Rinkey was mighty reluctant about goin' into details, but we gets it
out of him by degrees that the lord sahib has a habit, when he's locked
up alone, of unscrewin' the fake lamp and puttin' it away in a box full
of cotton battin'.
"Always in great secret," says Rinkey; "for the lord sahib would not
disclose. But I have seen, which was an evil thing--oh, very evil!
To-night it was done as before; but when it was time for the return,
alas! the box was down side up on the floor and the glorious eye was
not anywhere. Search! We look into everything, under all things.
Then comes a great rage on the lord sahib, and I be sore from it in
many places."
"That accounts for your restin' on your face, eh?" says I. "Well,
Pinckney, what now?"
"Why," says he, "we've simply got to get a substitute eye. I'll wait
here while you go out and buy another."
"Say, Pinckney," I says, "if you was goin' down Broadway at
eight-thirty P. M., shoppin' for glass eyes, where'd you hit first?
Would you try a china store, Or a gent's furnishin's place?"
"Don't they have them at drug stores?" says Pinckney.
"I never seen any glass eye counters in the ones I go to," says I. And
then, right in the midst of our battin' our heads, I comes to.
"Oh, splash!" says I. "Pinckney, if anyone asks you, don't let on what
a hickory head I am. Why, I've got a glass eye that Sir Hunter can
have the loan of over night, just as well as not."'
"You!" says Pinckney, lookin' wild.
"Sure thing," says I. "It's a beaut, too. Can't a feller own a glass
eye without wearin' it?"
"But where is it?" says Pinckney.
"It's with Snick Butters," says I. "He's usin' it, I expect. Fact is,
it was built for Snick, but I hold a gilt edged first mortgage, and all
I need to do to foreclose is say the word. Come on. Just as soon as
we find Snick you can run back and fix up Sir Hunter as good as new."
"Do you think you can find him?" says Pinckney.
"We've got to find him," says I. "I'm gettin' interested in this game."
Snick was holdin' down a chair in the smokin' room at the Gilsey. He
grins when he sees me, but when I puts it up to him about callin' in
the loose lens for over night his jaw drops.
"Just my luck," says he. "Here I've got bill board seats for the
Casino and was goin' to take the newsstand girl to the show as soon as
she can get off."
"Sorry, Snick," says I, "but this is a desperate case. Won't she stand
for the green curtain?"
"S-s-sh!" says he. "She don't know a thing about that. I'll have to
call it off. Give me two minutes, will you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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