Humorous stories, American; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
Say, it wa'n't any of my funeral, but that broom fact'ry proposition
stayed with me quite some time. The thoughts of anyone havin' to go
back to a place with a name like Minnekeegan was bilious enough; but
for a girl that had laid out to give Macmonnies a run for the gold
medal, the label pastin' prospect must have loomed up like a bad dream.
There's one good thing about other folks's troubles though--they're
easy put on the shelf. Soon's I gets to work I forgets all about
Cornelia Ann. I has to run out to Rockywold that afternoon, to put Mr.
Purdy Pell through his reg'lar course of stunts that he's been takin'
since some one told him he was gettin' to be a forty-fat. There was a
whole bunch of swells on hand; for it's gettin' so, now they can go and
come in their own tourin' cars, that winter house parties are just as
common as in summer.
"Thank heaven you've come!" says Mr. Pell. "It gives me a chance to
get away from cards for an hour or so."
"Guess you need it," says I. "You look like the trey of spades."
Then Pinckney shows up in the gym., and he no sooner sees us at work
with the basket ball than he begins to peel off. "I say there!" says
he. "Count me in on some of that, or I'll be pulled into another
rubber."
About an hour later, after they'd jollied me into stayin' all night, I
puts on a sweater and starts out for some hoof exercise in the young
blizzard that was makin' things white outside. Sadie holds me up at
the door. Her cheeks was blazin', and I could see she was holdin' the
Sullivan temper down with both hands.
"Hello!" says I. "What's been stirrin' you up?"
"Bridge!" snaps she. "I guess if you'd been glared at for two hours,
and called stupid when you lost, and worse names when you won, you'd
feel like throwing the cards at some one."
"Well, why didn't you?" says I.
"I did," says she, "and there's an awful row on; but I don't care! And
if you don't stop that grinnin', I'll----"
Well, she does it. That's the way with Sadie, words is always too slow
for her. Inside of a minute she's out chasin' me around the front yard
and peltin' me with snow balls.
"See here," says I, diggin' a hunk of snow out of one ear, "that kind
of sport's all to the merry; but if I was you I'd dress for the part.
Snowballin' in slippers and silk stockin's and a lace dress is a
pneumonia bid, even if you are such a warm one on top."
"Who's a red head?" says she. "You just wait a minute, Shorty McCabe,
and I'll make you sorry for that!"
It wa'n't a minute, it was nearer fifteen; but when Sadie shows up
again she's wearin' the slickest Canuck costume you ever see, all
blanket stripes and red tassels, like a girl on a gift calendar.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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