DAM. Is she in earnest now, or is this some little specimen of antique coquetry? After having made up my mind to make a woman miserable, I should not like to be disappointed: I had set my heart upon worrying a wife to death--to have some one to vent all my ill-humours upon--to snarl at--to find fault with--to be angry when she was pleased, and pleased only when she was angry--and to thwart and vex continually--I should have revelled in such a life, and have been delighted in letting every one see what a wretched state is the married one. She can't mean it--Oh, no--no--'tis but one of the coquettish arts of her artful sex--I'll retaliate--I'll call upon Miss Skylark or some other woman, and take her on my arm to this party, to-night--_I'll_ be a coquette--a _male_ coquette--and fight her with her own weapons. _Re-enter CHESTER; he paces the stage, DAMPER following him. Crosses to R._ CHE. Oh! the perversity of womankind: I thought she would have been surprised and delighted at the intelligence that I had wooed and won her under a false appearance, that instead of a struggling life of poverty, I could offer her one of wealth and comfort, and that my reason for such concealment was, that I might find one who would love me for myself alone. Why should she be angry? Why should she hear me with such indignation? Oh! woman--woman! DAM. A diabolical sex, isn't it, sir? I always said so--nobody would believe _me_--no one heeded _my_ words--but now you'll be a proselyte to creed, wont you? CHE. I'll go to the manor house---- DAM. So will I. CHE. With another---- DAM. That's what _I_ intend to do. CHE. If I can find a lady to accompany me. DAM. Let us go out together and pick up the first pair we can meet--you choose the youngest, I the oldest. Take my arm--there are two or three women in this town that I hate mortally, we'll call on them--I'll introduce you, and we'll take our choice. CHE. I thought to see her face beam with delight. DAM. One never can tell how they intend to look. CHE. Oh, Jessy! DAM. Oh, Maria! CHE. Oh, woman! perverse---- DAM. Artful---- CHE. Capricious---- DAM. Never-know-where-to-have-'em woman! [_Exeunt D.F._ SCENE II.--_An Inn Parlour--Two chairs._ _Enter MISS COY, F.E.L._ MISS C. I am glad I have resolved to go to London. Now, while they are changing horses, let me collect my thoughts. Oh, dear, my misfortunes seem to come all at once--my agent absconded--my match with Mr. Niggle broken off--every body scandalizing me.--I am not sorry that I discovered the villiany of my agent before I had called in another to share my troubles--Mr. Niggle then would have been justified in supposing that I had inveigled him into marriage--that mortification, at least, is spared me. _NIGGLE, without, F.E.L._ NIG. Let the chaise remain at the door. MISS C. Ha! 'tis his voice--he has followed me, perhaps, to beg me to return with him; but I will not--a reconciliation is now hopeless. _Enter NIGGLE, F.E.L._