Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
“O fortunate shepherd, to whom will you pipe to-morrow, or what slim
and agile companion will you crown for his prowess? O lucky youth, able
to drowse in the tempered sunlight that the elm-trees give, while your
friend splendidly cool in his white flannels bats and bowls for your
delight!”
“But I haven’t got any particular friend that I can watch,” objected
Michael.
“One day you will terribly regret the privileges of your pastoral
life.”
“Do you really think I am not getting all I can out of school?”
demanded Michael.
“I’m sure you’re not,” said Wilmot.
Michael began to trouble himself over Wilmot’s warning,
and also he began to look back with sentimental regret to what
had really been his happiest time, his friendship with Alan.
Pride kept him from approaching Alan with nothing to offer for
nearly two years’ indifference. There had been no quarrel.
They had merely gradually drifted apart, yet it was with a
deep pang of remorse that one day he realized in passing the
dusty Upper Fifth that Alan was now wrestling with that
imprisonment. Michael racked his brains to think of some way
by which he and Alan might come together in their old amity,
their perfect fellowship. He sought some way that would make
it natural and inevitable, but no way presented itself. He
could, so deep was his sudden regret, have stifled his own
pride and deliberately invited Alan to be friends; he would
even have risked a repulse; but with the renewal of his
longing for the friendship came a renewal of the old sympathy
and utter comprehension of Alan’s most secret moods, and
Michael realized that his old friend would be too shy to
accept this strange, inexplicable revival, unless it were
renewed, as it was begun, by careless, artless intercourse.
The immediate result of this looking back to an earlier period
was to arouse in Michael an interest in boys younger than
himself, and through his idealism to endow them with a
conscious joy of life which he fell to envying. He had a desire
to warn them of the enchantment under whose benign and dulcet
influence they lived, to warn them that soon the lovely spell
would be broken, and bid them make the most of their stripling
time. Continually he was seeing boys in the lower forms whose
friendship blooming like two flowers on a spray shed a
fragrance so poignant that tears came springing to his eyes. He
began to imagine himself very old, to feel that by some unkind
gift of temperament he had nothing left to live for. It chanced
that summer term the History Sixth learned for repetition
the Odes of Keats, and in the Ode on a Grecian Urn Michael
found the expression of his mood:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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