Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
They sat for a while in silence, and Mrs. Ross seemed to
Michael to be waiting for him to speak first, as if by her
own attitude of mute expectation she could lure him on to
express himself more openly than by direct question and shy
answer. He felt the air pregnant with confidences, and kept
urging himself on to begin the statement and revelation of his
character, sure that whatever he desired to ask must be asked
now while he was perhaps for the last time liable to this
grave woman’s influence, conscious of the security of
goodness, envious of the maternity of peace. This grey-eyed
woman seemed to sit above him like a proud eagle, careless of
homage, never to be caught, never to be tamed, a figure for
worship and inspiration. Michael wondered why all the women
who awed him had grey eyes. Blue eyes fired his senses,
striking sparks and kindling answering flames from his own
blue eyes. Brown eyes left him indifferent. But grey eyes
absorbed his very being, whether they were lustrous and
violet-shaded like his mother’s and Stella’s, or whether, like
Mrs. Ross’s, they were soft as grey sea-water that in a moment
could change to the iron-bound rocks they were so near.
Still Michael did not speak, but watched Mrs. Ross solemnly hand back
to the rosy child sitting beside her in the grass the fallen apples
that he would always fling from him exuberantly, panting the while at
laughter’s highest pitch.
“I wonder if I ever laughed like that,” said Michael.
“You were a very serious little boy, when I first knew you,” Mrs. Ross
told him.
“I must have been rather depressing,” Michael sighed.
“No, indeed you were not, dear Michael,” she answered. “You had much
too much personality.”
“Have I now?” Michael asked sharply.
“Yes, of course you have.”
“Well, what gives it to me?”
“Surely personality is something that is born with one.
Personality can’t be made,” said Mrs. Ross.
“You don’t think experience has got anything to do with it?” Michael
pressed.
“I think experience makes the setting, and according to the experience
the personality is perfected or debased, but nothing can destroy
personality, not even death,” she murmured, far away for a moment from
this orchard.
“Which would you say had the stronger personality—Alan or I?” asked
Michael.
“I should say you had,” said Mrs. Ross. “Or at any rate you have a
personality that will affect a larger number of people, either
favourably or unfavourably.”
“But Alan influences me more than I influence him,” Michael argued.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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