Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
Michael went on presenting the studio with such earnestness that he
himself began to endow it with a positively curative influence; but
when at last Stella had reached the studio, not even caring apparently
whether on the way the parlormaid saw her tears, and when she had
plunged disconsolately down upon the divan, still weeping, Michael
looked round at their haven with resentment. After all, it was merely
an ungainly bleak whitewashed room, and Stella was crying more bitterly
than before.
“Look here, I say, why don’t you tell me what you’re crying about? You
can’t go on crying forever, you know,” Michael pointed out. “And when
you’ve stopped crying, you’ll feel such an ass if you haven’t explained
what it was all about.”
“I couldn’t possibly tell anybody,” said Stella, looking very fierce.
Then suddenly she got up, and so surprising had been her breakdown that
Michael scarcely stopped to think that her attitude was rather
unusually dramatic.
“But I’m damned if I _will_ give up playing,” she proclaimed; and,
sitting down at the piano, forthwith she began to play into oblivion
her weakness.
It was a very exciting piece she played, and Michael longed to ask her
what it was called, but he was afraid to provoke in her any renewal of
self-consciousness; so he enjoyed the fiery composition and Stella’s
calm with only a faint regret that he would never know its name and
would never be able to ask her to play it again. When she had finished,
she swung round on the stool and asked him what had happened to Lily
Haden.
“I don’t know—really—they’ve left Trelawny Road,” he said, feeling
vaguely an unfair flank attack was being delivered.
“And you never think of her, I suppose?” demanded Stella.
“Well, no, I don’t very much.”
“Yet I can remember,” said Stella, “when you were absolutely miserable
because she had been flirting with somebody else.”
“Yes, I was very miserable,” Michael admitted. “And you were rather
contemptuous about it, I remember. You told me I ought to be more
proud.”
“And don’t you realize,” Stella said, “that just because I did remember
what I told you, I made my effort and began to play the piano again?”
Michael waited. He supposed that she would now take him into her
confidence, but she swung round to the keyboard, and when she had
finished playing she had become herself again, detached and cool and
masterful. It was incredible that the wet ball of a handkerchief half
hidden by a cushion could be her handkerchief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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