Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
“I’ve got the kettle on the boil at this moment. I was going out myself
for the evening. Meeting my husband at the Horseshoe. There’s only one
other lodger—Miss Carlyle. And she’s in the profession.”
As Mrs. Murdoch made this announcement, she looked up at the
fly-frecked ceiling, and Michael thought how extraordinarily light and
meaningless her eyes were and how curiously dim and heavy this small
sitting-room was against the brilliancy of the external summer.
“Well, then, tea when I can get it,” said Mrs. Murdoch cheerfully. “And
the double-u is just next your bedroom on the top floor. That’s all, I
think.”
She left him with a backward smile over her shoulder, as if she were
loath to relinquish the study of this unusual visitor to Neptune
Crescent.
Michael when he was alone examined the chairs that were standing about
the room as stiff as grenadiers in their red rep. He stripped them of
their antimacassars and pulled the one that looked least uncomfortable
close to the window. Outside, the yellow cat was still mewing; but the
cab was gone and down the gray street that led to Neptune Crescent here
and there sad-gaited wayfarers were visible. Two or three sparrows were
cheeping in a battered laburnum, and all along the horizon the blue sky
descending to the smoke of London had lost its color and had been
turned to the similitude of tarnished metal. A luxurious mournfulness
was in the view, and he leaned out over the sill scenting the reasty
London air.
It was with a sudden shock of conviction that Michael realized he was
in Neptune Crescent, Camden Town, and that yesterday he had actually
been in Oxford. And why was he here? The impulse which had brought him
must have lain deeper in the recesses of his character than those
quixotic resolutions roused by Drake’s legend of Lily. He would not
otherwise have determined at once upon so complete a demigration. He
would have waited to test the truth of Drake’s story. His first
emotional despair had vanished with almost unaccountable ease.
Certainly he wanted to be independent of the criticism of his friends
until he had proved his purpose unwavering, and he might ascribe this
withdrawal to a desire for a secluded and unflinching contemplation of
a life that from Cheyne Walk he could never focus. But ultimately he
must acknowledge that his sojourn here, following as it did straight
upon his entrance into the underworld through the disappointing portals
of the Seven Sisters Road, was due to that ancient lure of the shades.
This experience was foredoomed from very infancy. It was designated in
childish dreams to this day indelible. He could not remember any period
in his life when the speculum of hidden thought had not reflected for
his fear that shadow of evil which could overcast the manifestations of
most ordinary existence. Those days of London fog when he had sat
desolately in the pinched red house in Carlington Road; those days when
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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