Bildungsromans; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
“But how am I a corrective outside the fact that I’m your brother? And,
you know, I don’t believe you would consider that relationship had much
to do with my importance one way or the other.”
“In fact,” said Stella, laughing, “what you’re really trying to do is
to work the conversation round to yourself. One reason why you’re a
corrective to George is that you’re a gentleman.”
“There you are!” cried Michael excitedly, and as if with that word she
had released a spring that was holding back all the pent-up conclusions
of some time past, he launched forth upon the display of his latest
excavation of life. “We all half apologize for using the word
‘gentleman,’ but we can’t get on without it. People say it means
nothing nowadays. Although if it ever meant anything, it should mean
more nowadays than it did in the past, since every generation should
add something to its value. I haven’t been able to talk this out
before, because you’re the only person who knows what I was born and at
the same time is able to understand that for me to think about my
circumstances rather a lot doesn’t imply any very morbid
self-consciousness. _You’re_ all right. You have this astonishing gift
which would have guaranteed you self-expression whatever you had been
born. When one sees an artist up to your level, one doesn’t give a damn
for his ancestors or his family or his personal features apart from the
security of the art’s consummation. Perhaps I have a vague inclination
toward art myself, but inclinations are no good without something to
lean up against at the end. These people who came to your party that
night in Paris are in a way much happier, or rather much more secure
than me. However far they incline without support, they’re most of them
inclining away from a top-heavy suburban life. So if they become
failures, they’ll always have the consolation of knowing they had
either got to incline outward or be suffocated.”
Michael stopped for a while and stared out through the cottage lattices
at the stretch of common, at the steel-blue chain of ponds and the
narrow portal that led to this secluded forest-world, and away down the
lane to where on either side of the spraying brambles a plantation of
delicate birch-trees was tinted with the diaphanous brown and gold and
pale fawn of their last attiring.
“If I could only find in life itself,” said Michael, sighing, “a path
leading to something like this cottage.”
“But, meanwhile, go on,” Stella urged. “Do go on with your
self-revelation. It’s so fascinating to me. It’s like a chord that
never resolves itself, or a melody flitting in and out of a symphony.”
“Something rather pathetic in fact,” Michael suggested.
“Oh, no, much too elusive and independent to be pathetic,” she assured
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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