Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 3/3Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
General
Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 3/3
Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
English fiction -- 19th century
Lady Millicent meanwhile looked on in silence; but, although apparently
unmoved, she was, perhaps, nearer to giving way to a burst of sorrow
than she had ever been in all her life before. It had, indeed, been a
shock to her to learn that one of the ugliest of accusing words had been
applied by a person on whom she looked down as the dust beneath her
feet, to son of hers. The sight, also, of Horace--his face buried in his
hands, and the tears trickling between his clenched fingers--acted, if
not upon her heart, upon her nerves; and even as the melting of the
winter’s snow tears up the stones most deeply buried in the torrent’s
bed, Lady Millicent, moved by those hard-wrung drops to pity and to
grief, could, had she yielded to one of the best and purest impulses she
had ever known, have fallen on her son’s neck and wept aloud.
For everything--turn which way she would, to the right hand or the
left--everything at which she looked, whether in the past, the present,
or the future, seemed against the unhappy woman who had so long hardened
her heart and stiffened her neck against reproof. Her children--the sons
and daughters whom, strange to say, she now, in the days of her defeat
and in the hour of her humiliation discovered _were_ of some value in
her sight--became to her as instruments of punishment. It was surprising
to what extent the love of power, and the dread of abdicating to another
the sceptre of her rule, had blinded this woman to a sense not only of
her duties, but of her affections. The hope, the aim that she had so
long in view, of still retaining within her grasp the dominion that she
so dearly loved, had absorbed every faculty, both of mind and heart; but
when that hope had vanished, and when the purpose of her life was at an
end, then--when, with the natural yearning of every woman who still
retains some of the characteristics of her sex, for an object on which
to expend the hopes and fears, the energies and anticipations of a still
vigorous mind, she turned with almost a passionately longing heart to
the children whom God had given her--they in their turn refused the
tardy boon thrown _faute de mieux_ for their acceptance.
The children of Cecil Vavasour refused--tacitly, it is true, and with
the firm protest of silent apathy--the offering of a mother’s interest
in their affairs, a parent’s sympathy with their sorrows. Many a year
too late there sounded, for those neglected children of a good and
Christian father, the cry of nature in the breast of that world-hardened
and power-loving woman. They could not--_could_ not love her. Like
stunted trees, blighted by long exposure to cold winds and nipping
frosts, the feeble sap within had ceased to rise, and no new shoots, no
tender buds of love and tenderness, had opened beneath the warmth of
maternal love, even as in the joyous spring the young leaves turn
towards the sun their grateful tribute.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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