Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 3/3Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
General
Sink or swim? : $b a novel; vol. 3/3
Houstoun, Mrs. (Matilda Charlotte)
English fiction -- 19th century
“Anything?” he asked, throwing as much meaning into the word as the
human voice was capable of expressing; but Honor, who was far as the
poles from comprehending the evil that was in his thoughts, said
eagerly,
“Indeed yes! anything! I would be a governess--you know I was a
governess before--I would go out to service--be a ‘Lydia,’” and she
smiled a little bitterly, “if I could only never, never see Mrs.
Beacham’s face again.”
An expression which she took for amusement, but which was in reality
indicative of very unholy triumph, passed over Arthur Vavasour’s dark,
handsome face.
“Don’t laugh at me,” Honor said plaintively. “You _can_ have no idea how
hard it is to live with John’s mother. Nothing I do is right, and--and,”
in a lower voice, “I know she sets him against me. She has written to
tell me that I must go home to-day; but my father says I am to lay our
not going upon him, so here I shall stay! I know I shall be in a
dreadful scrape, and that it is only a case of putting off, and--”
“But why _only_ a case of putting off, as you call it? My darling
Honor--forgive me; the words slipt out unawares--you know I would not
offend you willingly; but the best as well as the worst men are liable
to mistakes. Only tell me why you, so young, so beautiful, so formed for
the enjoyment of everything that is bright and happy, should be
condemned to pass your days in such an existence as the one you describe
at the Paddocks? It has always seemed to me,” he went on, leaning
towards her, and looking with eyes of eager passion into her face--“it
has always seemed to me an act of the most miserable folly for
people--married people--who do not _suit_, remaining together: _both_
would often be equally glad to part, to go their respective ways, to
live another and a more congenial life; and yet from some foolish
unreasoning scruple, from fear of what the world would say, or from want
of courage to take the first step, they go on through all their lives,
making each other’s existence a burden, ‘when both might separately have
been as happy’ as we are any of us fated to be in this ill-managed world
of ours, where happiness is so rare a thing.”
Honor glanced at him with rather a puzzled look in her blue eyes.
Strange as it may seem, she did not even now comprehend his meaning.
That he was advising her to leave her home was too plain to be mistaken,
but that there was to be sin--sin, that is to say, greater than that
which she could not but feel would be incurred by deserting her husband
and her duties--never occurred to this poor foolish child of nature. But
although she did not comprehend, and could not fathom, the depths of her
false friend’s guilt, yet her womanly instinct led her to evade the
responding to his suggestion. His last words also, and the tone of
sadness in which they were spoken, riveted her attention, and, catching
almost gladly at an excuse for changing the conversation, she said
sympathisingly,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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