It was Peter Baron’s turn to meditate, which he did, on the empty asphalt
of the Parade (the “season,” at Dover, was not yet), where their shadows
were long in the afternoon light. He was under such a charm as he had
never known, and he wanted immensely to be able to reply: “I’ll do
anything you like if you’ll love me.” These words, however, would have
represented a responsibility and have constituted what was vulgarly
termed an offer. An offer of what? he quickly asked himself here, as he
had already asked himself after making in spirit other awkward dashes in
the same direction—of what but his poverty, his obscurity, his attempts
that had come to nothing, his abilities for which there was nothing to
show? Mrs. Ryves was not exactly a success, but she was a greater
success than Peter Baron. Poor as he was he hated the sordid (he knew
she didn’t love it), and he felt small for talking of marriage.
Therefore he didn’t put the question in the words it would have pleased
him most to hear himself utter, but he compromised, with an angry young
pang, and said to her: “What will you do for me if I put an end to them?”
She shook her head sadly—it was always her prettiest movement. “I can
promise nothing—oh, no, I can’t promise! We must part now,” she added.
“You’ll miss your train.”
He looked at his watch, taking the hand she held out to him. She drew it
away quickly, and nothing then was left him, before hurrying to the
station, but to catch up Sidney and squeeze him till he uttered a little
shriek. On the way back to town the situation struck him as grotesque.
V.
IT tormented him so the next morning that after threshing it out a little
further he felt he had something of a grievance. Mrs. Ryves’s
intervention had made him acutely uncomfortable, for she had taken the
attitude of exerting pressure without, it appeared, recognising on his
part an equal right. She had imposed herself as an influence, yet she
held herself aloof as a participant; there were things she looked to him
to do for her, yet she could tell him of no good that would come to him
from the doing. She should either have had less to say or have been
willing to say more, and he asked himself why he should be the sport of
her moods and her mysteries. He perceived her knack of punctual
interference to be striking, but it was just this apparent infallibility
that he resented. Why didn’t she set up at once as a professional
clairvoyant and eke out her little income more successfully? In purely
private life such a gift was disconcerting; her divinations, her evasions
disturbed at any rate his own tranquillity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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