Country life -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
When he was alone in his room he breathed relief. His mother, perhaps,
would come in on her way to bed, but otherwise he would be alone for the
hours of the night, and yet so much not alone. He thought that to-night
his mother would certainly come, and he undressed quickly so that when
he should hear her he could get into bed and pretend to be asleep. This
small piece of deception did not trouble him, since it would not trouble
her. He had never given her what he owed her. Now he wanted to think
uninterruptedly of Viola.
He leaned out of the window with his chin on his hands and gazed at the
dark masses of trees in front of him and at the starry roof of the sky
above them, which was above her, too. His window was on the same side
of the house as that of the room in which Grant had slept the year
before, but the trees were nearer to it. He gazed more at the sky than
at the trees. Yes, in that direction, almost directly in front of him,
lay the cottage in which she was—now at this very minute. It was a
moving thought. Perhaps she was asleep, perhaps she was looking at the
same stars as he was. Perhaps she was thinking of him, as he was
thinking of her. That was a very stirring thought, and led him to shift
his position. He wanted to be in motion as he thought of her. Later on,
when the house was all asleep, he would dress and go out. For the
present he could only walk about his room, when the waves of emotion
that came to him stirred him from his place at the window.
But he could not think like that. He did not know what to think about.
His impatience grew for the time to come when he should be alone and
undisturbed. Then he would be able to think, out there under the stars.
The trees oppressed him, as they had never done before. He got into
bed. He would lie and think there until his mother had come and gone.
But the moment he got into bed he fell asleep, and did not awake when
she came in softly, shielding the light of her candle from his eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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