Sister Dolorosa, and Posthumous FameAllen, James Lane
Religion
Sister Dolorosa, and Posthumous Fame
Allen, James Lane
Kentucky -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"How cold thou art! Shall I take thee in and warm thee on my bosom? Ah,
no! For I know who thou art! Not a bird, but a little brown mendicant
friar, begging barefoot in the snow. And thou livest in a cell under the
convent eaves opposite my window. What ugly feet thou hast, little
Father! And the thorns are on thy toes instead of about thy brow. That
is a bad sign for a saint. I saw thee in a brawl the other day with a
mendicant brother of thine order, and thou drovest him from roof to roof
and from icy twig to twig, screaming and wrangling in a way to bring
reproach upon the Church. Thou shouldst learn to defend a thesis more
gently. Who is it that visits thy cell so often? A penitent to confess?
And dost thou shrive her freely? I'd never confess to thee, thou cross
little Father! Thou'dst have no mercy on me if I sinned, as sin I must
since human I am. The good God is very good to thee that He keeps thee
from sinning while He leaves me to do wrong. Ah, if it were but natural
for me to be perfect! But that, little Father, is my idea of heaven. In
heaven it will be natural for me to be perfect. I'll feed thee no longer
than the winter lasts, for then thou'lt be a monk no longer, but a bird
again. And canst thou tell me why? Because, when the winter is gone,
thou'lt find a mate, and wert thou a monk thou'dst have none. For thou
knowest perfectly well, little Father, that monks do not wed."
"No fitting emblem of my soul art thou, fragile Psyche, mute and
perishable lover of the gorgeous earth. For my soul has no summer, and
there is no earthly object of beauty that it may fly to and rest upon as
thou upon the beckoning buds. It is winter where I live. All things are
cold and white, and my soul flies only above fresh fields of flowerless
snow. But no blast can chill its wings, no mire bedraggle, or rude touch
fray. I often wonder whether thou art mute, or the divine framework of
winged melodies. Thy very wings are shaped like harps for the winds to
play upon. So, too, my soul is silent never, though none can hear its
music. Dost thou know that I am held in exile in this world that I
inhabit? And dost thou know the flower that I fly ever towards and
cannot reach? It is the white flower of eternal perfection that blooms
and waits for the soul in Paradise. Upon that flower I shall some day
rest my wings as thou foldest thine on a faultless rose."
Harmonising with this growing passion for the beauty of the world--a
passion that marked her approach to riper womanhood--was the care she
took of her person. The coarse, flowing habit of the order gave no hint
of the curves and symmetry of the snow-white figure throbbing with eager
life within; but it could not conceal an air of refinement and movements
of the most delicate grace. There was likewise a suggestion of artistic
study in the arrangement of her veil, and the sacred symbol on her bosom
was embroidered with touches of elaboration.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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