Sister Dolorosa, and Posthumous FameAllen, James Lane
Religion
Sister Dolorosa, and Posthumous Fame
Allen, James Lane
Kentucky -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"I can never forgive your vows," he said, speaking very slowly and
making an effort to appear unmoved. "I can never forgive your vows that
they make it a sin for me to speak to you. I can never forgive them that
they put between us a gulf that I cannot pass. Remember, I owe you a
great deal. I owe you higher ideas of a woman's nature and clearer
resolutions regarding my own life. Your vows perhaps make it even a sin
that I should tell you this. But by what right? By what right am I
forbidden to say that I shall remember you always, and that I shall
carry away with me into my life----"
"Will you force me to turn back?" she asked in greater agitation; and
though he could not see her face, he saw her tears fall upon her hands.
"No," he answered sadly; "I shall not force you to turn back. I know
that I have intruded. But it seemed that I could not go away without
seeing you again, to be quite sure that you were well. And when I saw
you, it seemed impossible not to speak of other things. Of course this
must seem strange to you--stranger, perhaps, than I may imagine, since
we look at human relationships so differently. My life in this world can
be of no interest to you. You cannot, therefore, understand why yours
should have any interest for me. Still, I hope you can forgive me," he
added abruptly, turning his face away as it flushed and his voice
faltered.
She lifted her eyes quickly, although they were dim. "Do not ask me to
forgive anything. There is nothing to be forgiven. It is I who must
ask--only leave me!"
"Will you say good-bye to me?" And he held out his hand.
She drew back, but, overborne by emotion he stepped forward, gently took
her hand from the rosary, and held it in both his own.
"Good-bye! But, despite the cruel barriers that they have raised between
us, I shall always----"
She foresaw what was coming. His manner told her that. She had not
withdrawn her hand. But at this point she dropped the flowers that were
in her other hand, laid it on her breast so that the longest finger
pointed towards the symbol of the transfixed heart, and looked quickly
at him with indescribable warning and distress. Then he released her,
and she turned back towards the convent.
"Mother," she said, with a frightened face, when she reached it, "I did
not go to old Martha's. Some one was hunting in the fields, and I came
back. Do not send me again, Mother, unless one of the Sisters goes with
me." And with this half-truth on her lips and full remorse for it in her
heart, she passed into that deepening imperfection of nature which for
the most of us makes up the inner world of reality.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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