Sister Dolorosa, and Posthumous FameAllen, James Lane
Religion
Sister Dolorosa, and Posthumous Fame
Allen, James Lane
Kentucky -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
To the woman of the world, the approaches of whose nature are defended
by the intricacies of wilfulness and the barriers of deliberate reserve;
to the woman of the world, who curbs and conceals that feeling to which
she intends to yield herself in the end, it may seem incredible that
there should have rooted itself so easily in the breast of one of her
sex this flower of a fatal passion. But it should be remembered how
unbefriended that bosom had been by any outpost of feminine
self-consciousness; how exposed it was through very belief in its
unearthly consecration; how, like some unwatched vase that had long been
collecting the sweet dews and rains of heaven, it had been silently
filling with those unbidden intimations that are shed from above as the
best gifts of womanhood. Moreover, her life was unspeakably isolate. In
the monotony of its routine a trifling event became an epoch; a fresh
impression stirred within the mind material for a chapter of history.
Lifted far above commonplace psychology of the passions, however, was
the planting and the growth of an emotion in a heart like hers.
Her prayer began. It began with the scene of her first meeting with him
in the fields, for from that moment she fixed the origin of her
unfaithfulness. Of the entire hidden life of poetic reverie and
unsatisfied desires which she had been living before, her innocent soul
took no account. Therefore, beginning with that afternoon, she passed in
review the history of her thoughts and feelings. The moon outside,
flooding the heavens with its beams, was not so intense a lamp as
memory, now turned upon the recesses of her mind. Nothing escaped
detection. His words, the scenes with him in the garden, in the
field--his voice, looks, gestures--his anxiety and sympathy--his
passionate letter--all were now vividly recalled, that they might be
forgotten; and their influence confessed, that it might for ever be
renounced. Her conscience stood beside her love as though it were some
great fast-growing deadly plant in her heart, with deep-twisted roots
and strangling tendrils, each of which to the smallest fibre must be
uptorn so that not a germ should be left.
But who can describe the prayer of such a soul? It is easy to ask to be
rid of ignoble passions. They come upon us as momentary temptations and
are abhorrent to our better selves; but of all tragedies enacted within
the theatre of the human mind what one is so pitiable as that in which a
pure being prays to be forgiven the one feeling of nature that is the
revelation of beauty, the secret of perfection, the solace of the world,
and the condition of immortality?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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