American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“‘Oh,’ says Summers, ‘he wasn’t intending to strike up a conversation
with you. That’s just the New York style. He’d seen you was a regular
customer and he spoke a word or two just to show you he appreciated
your custom. You oughtn’t to have followed it up. That’s about as far
as we care to go with a stranger. A word or so about the weather may be
ventured, but we don’t generally make it the basis of an acquaintance.’
“‘Billy,’ says I, ‘the weather and its ramifications is a solemn
subject with me. Meteorology is one of my sore points. No man can open
up the question of temperature or humidity or the glad sunshine with
me, and then turn tail on it without its leading to a falling
barometer. I’m going down to see that man again and give him a lesson
in the art of continuous conversation. You say New York etiquette
allows him two words and no answer. Well, he’s going to turn himself
into a weather bureau and finish what he begun with me, besides
indulging in neighbourly remarks on other subjects.’
“Summers talked agin it, but I was irritated some and I went on the
street car back to that caffy.
“The same fellow was there yet, walking round in a sort of back corral
where there was tables and chairs. A few people was sitting around
having drinks and sneering at one another.
“I called that man to one side and herded him into a corner. I
unbuttoned enough to show him a thirty-eight I carried stuck under my
vest.
“‘Pardner,’ I says, ‘a brief space ago I was in here and you seized the
opportunity to say it was a nice day. When I attempted to corroborate
your weather signal, you turned your back and walked off. Now,’ says I,
‘you frog-hearted, language-shy, stiff-necked cross between a
Spitzbergen sea cook and a muzzled oyster, you resume where you left
off in your discourse on the weather.’
“The fellow looks at me and tries to grin, but he sees I don’t and he
comes around serious.
“‘Well,’ says he, eyeing the handle of my gun, ‘it was rather a nice
day; some warmish, though.’
“‘Particulars, you mealy-mouthed snoozer,’ I says—‘let’s have the
specifications—expatiate—fill in the outlines. When you start anything
with me in short-hand it’s bound to turn out a storm signal.’
“‘Looked like rain yesterday,’ says the man, ‘but it cleared off fine
in the forenoon. I hear the farmers are needing rain right badly
up-State.’
“‘That’s the kind of a canter,’ says I. ‘Shake the New York dust off
your hoofs and be a real agreeable kind of a centaur. You broke the
ice, you know, and we’re getting better acquainted every minute. Seems
to me I asked you about your family?’
“‘They’re all well, thanks,’ says he. ‘We—we have a new piano.’
“‘Now you’re coming it,’ I says. ‘This cold reserve is breaking up at
last. That little touch about the piano almost makes us brothers.
What’s the youngest kid’s name?’ I asks him.
“‘Thomas,’ says he. ‘He’s just getting well from the measles.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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