‘That would be very sublime,’ replied Walstein. ‘But I assure you,
if there be one thing that disgusts me more than another, it is the
anticipation of renewed travel! I have seen all that I wish, and more
than I ever expected. All that I could experience now would be exertion
without excitement, a dreadful doom. If I am not to experience pleasure,
let me at least have the refuge of repose. The magic of change of scene
is with me exhausted. If I am to live, I do not think that I could be
tempted to quit this city; sometimes I think, scarcely even my house.’
‘I see how it is,’ exclaimed Madame de Schulembourg, shaking her head
very knowingly, ‘you must marry.’
‘The last resource of feminine fancy!’ exclaimed Walstein, almost
laughing. ‘You would lessen my melancholy, I suppose, on the principle
of the division of gloom. I can assure you, my dear Madame de
Schulembourg,’ he continued, in a very serious tone, ‘that, with
my present sensations, I should consider it highly dishonourable to
implicate any woman in my destiny.’
‘Ha! ha! ha!’ laughed Madame; ‘I can assure you, my dear Mr. Walstein,
that I have a great many very pretty friends who will run the risk. ‘Tis
the best cure for melancholy, believe me. I was serious myself at times
before I married, but you see I have got over my gloom.’
‘You have, indeed,’ said Walstein; ‘and perhaps, were I Doctor de
Schulembourg, I might be as gay.’
‘Another compliment! However, I accept it, because it is founded on
truth. The fact is, I think you are too much alone.’
‘I have lived in a desert, and now I live in what is called the world,’
replied Walstein. ‘Yet in Arabia I was fairly content, and now I
am-----what I shall not describe, because it will only procure me your
ridicule.’
‘Nay! not ridicule, Mr. Walstein. Do not think that I do not sympathise
with your affliction, because I wish you to be as cheerful as myself.
If you were fairly content in Arabia, I shall begin to consider it an
affair of climate.’
‘No,’ said Walstein, still very serious, ‘not an affair of
climate--certainly not. The truth is, travel is a preparation, and we
bear with its yoke as we do with all that is initiatory--with the solace
of expectation. But my preparation can lead to nothing, and there appear
to be no mysteries in which I am to be initiated.’
‘Then, after all, you want something to do?’
‘No doubt.’
‘What shall it be?’ inquired Madame de Schulembourg, with a thoughtful
air.
‘Ah! what shall it be?’ echoed Walstein, in accents of despondence; ‘or,
rather, what can it be? What can be more tame, more uninteresting, more
unpromising than all around? Where is there a career?’
‘A career!’ exclaimed Caroline. ‘What, you want to set the world in
a blaze! I thought you were a poetic dreamer, a listless, superfine
speculator of an exhausted world. And all the time you are very
ambitious!’
‘I know not what I am,’ replied Walstein; ‘but I feel that my present
lot is an intolerable burthen.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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