As there is likewise no more chance of meeting a good tempered guide on a cross-road, than of finding eggs and bacon, in an edible state, at least on a common--and as he can no more pull in the summer-rains than he can the reins of a runaway stallion; the result is, the inexperienced youth ludicrously represents so many pounds of 'dripping,' and although he may be thirsty, he will have no cause to complain that he is--dry! The best mode for an honest man to go round the country, is to take a straight-forward course, especially when the surcharged clouds do rule the horizon with sloping lines of rain! Besides, it is by no means a pleasant thing for a man with a scanty wardrobe, to find his clothes running away at a most unpleasant rate, while he can scarcely drag one clay-encumbered leg after the other. It is a difficult trial, too, of a man's philosophy, after trudging over a long field, to be encountered by the mockery of a 'ha! ha!'--fence! He utters a few bitter expletives, perhaps, but nought avails his railing against such a fence as that! The shower which makes all nature smile, only causes him to laugh--on the wrong side of his mouth, for he regards it as a temperance man does a regular soaker! Reader! never attempt a bye-way on a wet day, with a stick and bundle at your back--(if you have a waterproof trunk, you may indeed weather it)--but go a-head on the turnpike road--the way of all mails--leaving long and short commons to the goose and donkey--and the probability is, that you may not only I make a sign before you die, but get a feed--and a shelter. SCENE XVII. "I'm dem'd if I can ever hit 'em." It is a most extraordinary thing, 'pon my veracity: I go out as regularly as the year, and yet I never bring down an individual bird. I have one of the best Mantons going with such a bore! and then I use the best shot--but not being the best shot in the world myself--I suppose is the identical reason why I never hit any thing. I think it must arise from a natural defect in my sight; for when I suppose a covey as near--as my miser of an uncle--they are probably as distant--as my ninety-ninth cousin! Such a rum go!--the other day I had a troop of fellows at my heels, laughing like mad; and what do you think?--when I doffed my shooting jacket, I found some wag had stuck the top of a printed placard on my back, with the horrid words, "A young Gentleman missing!" It was only last week, a whole flight of sparrows rose at my very feet--I fired--bang!--no go!--but I heard a squall; and elevating my glass, lo! I beheld a cottage within a few yards of my muzzle--the vulgar peasant took the trouble to leap his fence, and inform me I had broken his windows--of course I was compelled to pay him for his panes.