CHORUS.
And Jack, Jim and Joe
Give the maid chaste as snow
That is true as a shot to her lad!
The customary applause having followed this vocal attempt of Sniggs, he
was asked for a toast or a sentiment.
"Here's--'May the charitable man never know the want of--'shot.'" said
Sniggs.
"Excellent!" exclaimed Saggers, approvingly; "By Jupiter Tonans, Sniggs,
you're a true son of--a gun!"
THE "CRACK-SHOTS."--No. III.
"Sich a lark!" said Bill Sorrel, breaking abruptly in upon the noisy
chorus, miscalled a general conversation; "sich a lark!"
"Where?" demanded Saggers.
"You've jist hit it," replied Sorrel, "for it vere worry near 'Vare vhere
it happened. I'd gone hout hearly, you know, and had jist cotched sight
of a bird a-vistling on a twig, and puttered the vords, 'I'll spile your
singin', my tight 'un,' and levelled of my gun, ven a helderly gentleman,
on t'other side of the bank vich vos atween me and the bird, pops up his
powdered noddle in a jiffy, and goggling at me vith all his eyes, bawls
pout in a tantivy of a fright, 'You need'nt be afear'd, sir,' says I, 'I
aint a-haiming at you,' and vith that I pulls my trigger-bang! Vell, I
lost my dicky! and ven I looks for the old 'un, by Jingo! I'd lost him
too. So I mounts the bank vere he sot, but he vas'nt there; so I looks
about, and hobserves a dry ditch at the foot, and cocking my eye along
it, vhy, I'm blessed, if I did'nt see the old fellow a-scampering along
as fast as his legs could carry him. Did'nt I laugh, ready to
split--that's all!"
"I tell you what, Sorrel," said the president, with mock gravity, "I
consider the whole affair, however ridiculous, most immoral and
reprehensible. What, shall a crack-shot make a target of an elder?
Never! Let us seek more appropriate butts for our barrels! You may
perhaps look upon the whole as a piece of pleasantry but let me tell you
that you ran a narrow chance of being indicted for a breach of the peace!
And remember, that even shooting a deer may not prove so dear a shot as
bringing down an old buck!"
This humorous reproof was applauded by a "bravo!" from the whole club.
Sorrel sang--small, and Sniggs sang another sporting ditty.
"Our next meeting," resumed Saggers, "is on Thursday next when the
pigeon-match takes place for a silver-cup--the 'Crack Shots' against the
'Oriental Club.' I think we shall give them I taste of our quality,'
although we do not intend that they shall lick us. The silver-cup is
their own proposal. The contest being a pigeon-match, I humbly proposed,
as an amendment, that the prize should be a tumbler--which I lost by a
minority of three. In returning thanks, I took occasion to allude to
their rejection of my proposition, and ironically thanked them for having
cut my tumbler."
"Werry good!" shouted Sorrel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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