Sketches in Lavender, Blue and GreenJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
"Ay, sir," she assented, "you may well say that. It nearly broke my 'art
at fust; everythin' so different to what it 'ad been. Not as I'd stand
in the boy's light. If our being a bit uncomfortable like in this world
is a-going to do 'im any good in the next me and father ain't the ones to
begrudge it, are we, old man?"
The "old man" concurred grumpily.
"Was it a sudden conversion?" I asked. "How did it come about?"
"It was a young woman as started 'im off," explained the old lady. "She
come round to our place one day a-collectin' for somethin' or other, and
Jack, in 'is free-'anded way, 'e give 'er a five-pun' note. Next week
she come agen for somethin' else, and stopped and talked to 'im about 'is
soul in the passage. She told 'im as 'e was a-goin' straight to 'ell,
and that 'e oughter give up the bookmakin' and settle down to a
respec'ble, God-fearin' business. At fust 'e only laughed, but she
lammed in tracts at 'im full of the most awful language; and one day she
fetched 'im round to one of them revivalist chaps, as fair settled 'im.
"'E ain't never been his old self since then. 'E give up the bettin' and
bought this 'ere, though what's the difference blessed if I can see. It
makes my 'eart ache, it do, to 'ear my Jack a-beatin' down the poor
people--and it ain't like 'im. It went agen 'is grain at fust, I could
see; but they told him as 'ow it was folks's own fault that they was
poor, and as 'ow it was the will of God, because they was a drinkin',
improvident lot.
"Then they made 'im sign the pledge. 'E'd allus been used to 'is glass,
Jack 'ad, and I think as knockin' it off 'ave soured 'im a bit--seems as
if all the sperit 'ad gone out of 'im--and of course me and father 'ave
'ad to give up our little drop too. Then they told 'im as 'e must give
up smokin'- that was another way of goin' straight to 'ell--and that
ain't made 'im any the more cheerful like, and father misses 'is little
bit--don't ye, father?"
"Ay," answered the old fellow savagely; "can't say I thinks much of these
'ere folks as is going to heaven; blowed if I don't think they'll be a
chirpier lot in t'other place."
An angry discussion in the shop interrupted us. Jack had returned, and
was threatening an excited woman with the police. It seemed she had
miscalculated the date, and had come a day too late with her interest.
Having got rid of her, he came into the parlour with the watch in his
hand.
"It's providential she was late," he said, looking at it; "it's worth ten
times what I lent on it."
He packed his father back into the shop, and his mother down into the
kitchen to get his tea, and for a while we sat together talking.
I found his conversation a strange mixture of self-laudation, showing
through a flimsy veil of self-disparagement, and of satisfaction at the
conviction that he was "saved," combined with equally evident
satisfaction that most other people weren't--somewhat trying, however;
and, remembering an appointment, rose to go.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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