Thus armed with the cardboard weapons of a sham cynicism, he allowed
himself to wander, like a knight-errant, still deeper into the haunted
forest of his imagination. And there, as is the way with knight-errants,
he grew impatient with his caution. Why should he strive so desperately
to rein in his passion with doubts--this strange and wonderful passion
that was so new to him? Of course she had wanted him. At this very
moment she was thinking of him--ticking off the hours till they should
be together. If she hadn’t written, hadn’t cabled, had ignored him
entirely, it was because---- Perhaps because in the early stages women
show their love by hiding it, just as men show theirs by displaying it
A man’s excitement is to win; a woman’s to be won. Perhaps! He smiled
humorously; he had invented so many motives for her silence. The obvious
motive he had overlooked--that it was her silence that was compelling
him to her.
Probably his ardor had frightened her. Their introduction had been so
unusual that it afforded no basis for correspondence, though he had shut
his eyes to that. If Desire were here, and he were to ask her why she
hadn’t written, she would probably crouch her chin against her shoulder
and tell him, “It isn’t done in the best families.”
It wasn’t. But in New York conditions would be different. Vashti would
be there. Vashti for whom he had saved his marriage-box. Vashti who
could make Mrs. Sheerug believe that she was good only when she sang.
Vashti whose voice was like a beanstalk ladder by which lovers might
escape to the stars. Did she remember _The Garden Enclosed_, and how his
boyish kiss had changed her painted lips from an expression of brooding
to one of kindness? Odd to think of her as Desire’s mother! “My
beautiful mother!” Vashti would be generous; already he was counting on
her alliance. When Desire had her mother’s consent, she would no longer
want to conceal her affection.
His optimism caught fire. It was a wonderful world to which he was
sailing--a world of enchantment.- She might be on the dock to meet him.
Would she look very altered with her hair done like a woman’s? How would
a modern dress suit her? What fun it would be to go wandering through a
strange city at her side!
His thoughts ran madly ahead. Marriage!’ Where would they live? Would
Vashti want them to stay in America? Anyway, they’d go back to Eden Row
for their honeymoon. Hal would be happy at last In time he might meet
Vashti. They might learn to love each other afresh, and then----
He drew up sharply, assuring himself gravely that all these peeps into
the future were highly problematic. The chances were that in two weeks’
time he’d be sailing on the return-journey, doing his best to forget
that he had ever believed himself in love.
The blue trackless days passed quickly, while his mood alternated
between precautionary coldness and passionate anticipation. His thoughts
spread their wings, beating up into the unknown in broad flights of
fancy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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