The last morning. He had scarcely slept. The throb of the engines
was slower. Overhead he could hear the creaking of pulleys, and the
commotion of trunks being raised from the hold and piled upon the deck.
He rose with the first flush of dawn to see the wraith of land stealing
nearer. He had the feeling that, in so doing, he was proving his
loyalty. Somewhere, over there to the westward, her eyes were closed and
she was dreaming of him. It was his old idea that their thoughts could
reach out and touch.
His heart was in his throat. He paced up and down in a vain endeavor to
keep it quiet. Gulls, skimming the foam with shrill cries, seemed
her messengers. Through the pearl-colored haze white shipping passed
noiselessly. The sun streamed a welcome.
As they crept up the harbor, he could no longer disguise his excitement.
It nearly choked him. He seemed disembodied; he was a pair of eyes. His
soul ran out before him. He felt sure she would be waiting for him.
He saw nothing of the panting little tugs, which pulled and shoved the
liner to her moorings. He hardly noticed the man-made precipices of New
York, rising like altar-steps to a shrine of turquoise. He was straining
his eyes toward the gaps in the dock-shed, white with clustered
indistinguishable faces. One of them must be hers. It seemed wrong that,
even at this distance, he should not be able to pick her out As they
moved slowly alongside, he kept persuading himself that he had found her
and waved furiously--only to realize that he had been mistaken.
He passed down the gang-plank with eager eyes, asking himself: “How
shall I greet her? What will she expect me to say to her?” On every
side, friends were darting forward, shaking hands, clasping each other
and not caring who witnessed their emotional gladness. At any minute he
might see her pressing through the crowd.
He had been searching for her for half-an-hour. “If your friends have
come to meet you,” an official told him, “they’ll look for you where
your baggage is examined. What’s your name? Gurney. Well, they’ll be
waiting for you under the letter G., if they’re waiting anywhere.”
His luggage had been passed by the inspector. The crowd was thinning.
The only people left were a few flustered passengers who were
having trouble with the customs. His hope was ebbing; after his high
anticipations he was suffering from reaction. Loitering disconsolately
by his trunks, he clutched obstinately at the skirts of his vanishing
optimism. His brain was fertile in producing excuses for why she had not
met him. The news that the ship had docked might not have reached her,
or it might have reached her too late. Perhaps at this very moment she
was hurrying to him, sharing his suspense.
He wouldn’t leave yet. It would seem as though he blamed her, didn’t
trust her, if she should arrive to find him gone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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