Teddy rushed across the hall to the front-room. He tried to keep Desire
back. Vashti was stretched upon the couch, white as death, breathing
hard, and exhausted. Her hair had broken loose and lay spread like
a shawl across her breast. Mr. Dak was standing over her, his hands
clenched. His collar was crumpled and had burst at the stud. His tie was
drawn tight, as though it had been used to strangle him.
Desire threw herself down beside her mother, kissing her wildly and
smoothing back her hair. “Oh, what is it? What is it, dearest? Tell me.”
She leant her face against her mother’s to catch the words. Springing to
her feet, she glared at Mr. Dak.
“You low beast.” Her white virago fist shot up and struck him on the
mouth. “You little swine. Get out.”
In the hall, as Teddy was seeing him off the premises, Mr. Dak commenced
a mumbling defense. “What did she suppose I thought she meant? I wanted
to marry her, but she wouldn’t. If she didn’t mean anything, what right
had she to let me spend my money trotting her round?” From the
dim-lit room came the terrible sound of sobbing. Desire met him on the
threshold. “She’s only frightened. She wants you to help her to bed.”
Outside the bedroom door Vashti took his face between her hands.
“Thank God, there are good men in the world.” He waited for Desire. All
tenderness had become a trap. She nodded to him sullenly, “Good-night.”
Then, flam-ing up, “Fluffy’s right. All men are beasts, I expect.”
The bedroom door shut. He switched off the lights and let himself out.
CHAPTER XVI--THE GHOST OF HAPPINESS
To a man who has never been in love the humble passion of his heart is
to be allowed to love. He conjures visions of the woman who will call
out his affection; he is always looking for her, seeing a face which
seems the companion of his dreams, following, turning back disappointed
and setting out afresh. When he does find her, his first feeling is
one of overwhelming gratitude. His one idea is to give unstintingly,
expecting nothing. He robes himself in a white unselfishness.
But the moment he has been allowed to love his attitude changes. He
still wants to love, but he craves equally to be loved. He is no longer
content to worship solitarily; he becomes sensitive to be worshiped in
return. He is anxious to compete with the woman’s generosity. If she
receives and does not give, he grows infidel like a devotee whose
prayers God has not answered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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