When to-morrow came, he phoned her. Vashti answered. “She didn’t sleep
here, Teddy. She left half-an-hour after you left; she made me promise
not to tell you where she was going.--She was crying. She said she was
sure you hated her or that you would hate her one day.--What’s that?
No. I think you’re doing right I should advise you to sail. It’ll do her
good to miss you.--Yes, if she comes in, I’ll tell her.”
When he had seen his boxes put on the express-wagon, it began to dawn
on him that he was doing things for the last time. He still told himself
that he wasn’t going. He still procrastinated over sending the cable.
Yet he proceeded mechanically with preparations for departure. He saw
his publisher. He interviewed magazine-editors. He promised to execute
work in the near future. He lunched at the Astor by himself, at a table
across which he had often faced her. The waiter showed concern at seeing
him alone and made discreet inquiries after “Madame.” Wherever he turned
he saw girls with young men. The orchestra played rag-time tunes that
they had hummed together. Every sight and sound was a reminder. The
gayety burlesqued his unhappiness.
After lunch he had an inspiration: of course she was at Fluffy’s. He
felt certain that he had only to talk with her to put matters right.
Fluffy was out. It was her maid’s voice that answered; she professed to
know nothing of the movements of Miss Jodrell.
Night gathered--the night before Christmas with its intangible
atmosphere of legendary excitements. All the world over stockings were
being hung at the ends of beds and children were listening for Santa
Claus’s reindeers. Cafés and restaurants were thronged with men and
women in evening-dress. Taxis purred up before flashing doorways and
girls stepped out daintily. Orchestras were crashing out syncopated
music. In cleared spaces, between tables, dancers glided. If he hadn’t
been so wise, he might have been one of them.
Slowly, like pirouetting faeries, snowflakes drifted gleaming down the
dusk. It was the first snow since that memorable flight to the country.
The pain of his loneliness was more than he could bear. There was no use
in telephoning. Perhaps she had been at home all the time and had given
orders that people should say she was out. Quite likely! But why? Why
should she avoid him? She seemed to have been so near to loving him last
night. What had she meant by telling her mother that he hated her or
would hate her one day? He had said and done nothing that would hint
at that The idea that he should ever hate her was absurd. Perhaps the
“horrid me” had got the upper-hand--that would account for it.
Eight o’clock! Four more hours! At midnight the ship sailed.
He hurried to the apartment in Riverside Drive. The elevator-boys told
him that the ladies were out. He refused to believe them and insisted
on being taken up. He knocked at the door and pressed the button. Dead
silence. Even Twinkles didn’t answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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