Strange letters these to receive in the old-fashioned quiet of Eden Row,
where days passed orderly and marshaled by duties! They came fluttering
to him beneath the gray London skies, like tropic birds which had lost
their direction. He would sit picturing her in an Eden Row setting,
telling himself stories of the wild combinations of circumstances that
might bring her tripping to him!
He was homesick for the faeries. He felt dull in remembering her
intenser modes of living--modes of living which in his heart he
distrusted. They could not last. There lay his hope. When they failed,
she might turn to him for security. He excused her carelessness. Why,
because he was sad, should she not be glad-hearted? For such leniency he
received an occasional reward, as when she wrote him, “I do wish I could
hear your nice English voice. I met a lady the other day who asked me,
‘Is there any chance of your marrying Theodore Gurney? If you don’t,
you’re foolish.’ You’d have loved her.” And then, in a mischievous
postscript, “I forgot to tell you, she said you had beautiful eyes.”
Tantalizing as an echo of laughter from behind a barrier of hills!
In her first letters she coquetted with various forms of address:
_Meester Deek; Dear Meester Deek; My Dear_. This last seemed to please
her as a perch midway between the chilliness of friendship and too much
fervor. She settled down to it. Her endings were equally experimental:
_Your Friend Desire; Your Little Friend; Yours of the White Foxes; Yours
affectionately, the Princess_. Usually her signature was preceded
by some such sentiment as, “You know you always have my many
thoughts”--which might mean anything. She never committed herself.
His chief anxiety was to discover what she had meant by her promise that
they would meet very shortly. She refused to tell him. Worse still, as
time went on, he suspected that she was missing him less and less.
While to him no happiness was complete without her, she seemed to be
embarrassed by no such curtailment. Her good times were coming thick and
fast; her infatuation for Fluffy seemed to have strengthened. At last
word reached him in February that they were off to California; she was
too full of anticipation to express regret for the extra three thousand
miles that would part them. On the day before she started, he cabled
the florist at the Brevoort to send her flowers. In return he received
a line of genuine sentiment. “Meester Deek, you are thoughtful! I nearly
cried when I got them. You’ll never know what they meant. New York
hasn’t been New York without you. It was almost as though you yourself
had brought them. I wanted to run out and stop you, waving and waving to
you down the stairs.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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