That was the climax. From that point on her correspondence grew jerky,
dealing more and more with trivial externals and less and less with the
poignant things of the past. In proportion as she withdrew from him,
he tried to call her back with his sincerity. When he complained of her
indifference, she told him mockingly, “I’m keeping all your letters.
They’ll give you away entirely when I bring my suit for breach of
promise.”
He could detect Fluffy’s influence, “Oh, these men!” He waited longer
and longer to hear from her. Sometimes three weeks elapsed. Then from
Santa Barbara she wrote, “I’m having such a gay time. Don’t you envy me?
I’m riding horseback and some one is teaching me to drive a car.”
He knew what that meant. How could she travel so far and freely without
attracting love? A man had appeared on the horizon.
For a day he was half-minded to go to her. It was no longer a question,
of whether she wanted him, but of whether he could live without her. He
answered in a fit of jealousy and self-scorn, “I wish I had your faculty
for happiness. I hope your good times are lasting.” And then the fatal
phrase, “I’m afraid you’re one of those lucky persons who feel nothing
very deeply.”
It was his first written criticism of her. She kept him waiting six
weeks for a reply; when it came it was cabled. He broke the seal
tremblingly, not daring to conjecture what he might expect. Her message
was contained in one line, “I hate you to be flippant” After keeping
him waiting so long, she had been in a great hurry to send him those
six words. After that dead silence. It dawned on him that everything was
ended.
He had completed his book. It was in the printer’s hands and he knew
that once more success had come to him. Money was in sight; nothing
kept her from him except her own wayward heart of thistledown. He still
believed the best of her. With the courage of despair he told himself
that, sooner or later, he was bound to marry her. Perhaps she was
keeping away from him out of a sense of justice, because she could not
yet care for him sufficiently. When his book had found her, she would
relent Glancing through his paper one June morning, his eye was arrested
by the head-lines of a motor-accident. It had happened to a party
of newly-landed Americans, two women and three men, on the road from
Liverpool to London. He caught sight of the name of Janice Audrey, and
then---- Dashing out into Eden Row, he ran to Orchid Lodge. Hal was
setting out for business, when he intercepted him. Thrusting the paper
into his hand, he pointed.
CHAPTER XX--SHE PROPOSES
He had not been allowed to see her. She had been at Orchid Lodge for
three days. No one was aware of his special reason for wanting to see
her. Not even to his mother had he let fall a hint that Desire was the
girl for whose sake he had stayed in America. His thoughtfulness
in making inquiries and in sending flowers was attributed to his
remembrance of their childhood’s friendship.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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