It was as though love had broken into flame with the heat, or had
dropped down from a storm-cloud. One day--long will he remember that
day--he was once more sitting in the Osinins’ drawing-room at the
window, and was looking mechanically into the street. There was vexation
and weariness in his heart, he despised himself, and yet he could not
move from his place.... He thought that if a river ran there under the
window, he would throw himself in, with a shudder of fear, but without a
regret. Irina placed herself not far from him, and was somehow strangely
silent and motionless. For some days now she had not talked to him at
all, or to any one else; she kept sitting, leaning on her elbows, as
though she were in perplexity, and only rarely she looked slowly round.
This cold torture was at last more than Litvinov could bear; he got up,
and without saying good-bye, he began to look for his hat. ‘Stay,’
sounded suddenly, in a soft whisper. Litvinov’s heart throbbed, he did
not at once recognise Irina’s voice; in that one word, there was a ring
of something that had never been in it before. He lifted his head and
was stupefied; Irina was looking fondly--yes, fondly at him. ‘Stay,’ she
repeated; ‘don’t go. I want to be with you.’ Her voice sank still lower.
‘Don’t go.... I wish it.’ Understanding nothing, not fully conscious
what he was doing, he drew near her, stretched out his hands.... She
gave him both of hers at once, then smiling, flushing hotly, she turned
away, and still smiling, went out of the room. She came back a few
minutes later with her youngest sister, looked at him again with the
same prolonged tender gaze, and made him sit near her.... At first she
could say nothing; she only sighed and blushed; then she began, timidly
as it were, to question him about his pursuits, a thing she had never
done before. In the evening of the same day, she tried several times to
beg his forgiveness for not having done him justice before, assured him
she had now become quite different, astonished him by a sudden outburst
of republicanism (he had at that time a positive hero-worship for
Robespierre, and did not presume to criticise Marat aloud), and only a
week later he knew that she loved him. Yes; he long remembered that
first day ... but he did not forget those that came after either--those
days, when still forcing himself to doubt, afraid to believe in it, he
saw clearly, with transports of rapture, almost of dread, bliss un-hoped
for coming to life, growing, irresistibly carrying everything before it,
reaching him at last. Then followed the radiant moments of first
love--moments which are not destined to be, and could not fittingly be,
repeated in the same life. Irina became all at once as docile as a
lamb, as soft as silk, and boundlessly kind; she began giving lessons to
her younger sisters--not on the piano, she was no musician, but in
French and English; she read their school-books with them, and looked
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account