Naturally one does not invoke the help even of family, friends, or fellow club members, unless it seems impossible for the individual, under the best plan that he and you can think out together, to get along without outside help. But if we are convinced that, for the present at any rate, this financial self-maintenance is impossible, it is to securing help from those nearest to the sufferer that one should look with least regret. Gifts or loans from members of his family or from friends are more likely to be taken seriously by the recipient. He is less likely to feel (as he does with an impersonal agency or charity fund) that he can draw from a bottomless pit of money without making any one else the poorer. Moreover, when he takes money from his brother or the fellow member of some club, the pressure for regaining his economic balance is likely to be exerted from without him as well as from within. He feels the pressure of his debt and thereby is stimulated towards regaining his independence. The sufferer's "catastrophic" point of view, which tends to isolate the present trouble from all its causes, to represent it as temporary and accidental, is related to his tendency to state that he has no friends, relations, or social connections through whom help could come to him. Without any deliberate attempt to deceive us, he quite naturally forgets some of his relations. He does not want to appeal to them. Hence they fall into the background of his mind, and are not easily recovered. When one finds them for him he is apt to say, "I did not think of him because I am not on speaking terms with him"; or, "I would not on any account take money from her, or allow you to ask her to help me." But such a sufferer may very properly be asked, "Why is it that you are willing to take money from me, a stranger, or from this impersonal charitable agency, when you are not willing to call upon your own relations nor even to let them know that you are in trouble? You are concealing it from them, are you not? Is there really any good reason for this? Will it not be easier for you, as well as for them, that they should know at once? Are you not really storing up trouble for yourself, postponing the evil day which, when it comes, will be worse than anything which you would have to bear at present?" Of course, in all such advice we intend to say nothing that we should not wish to have said to ourselves. The social worker tries to treat people always as she would wish to be treated. But one cannot always avoid giving pain or even estrangement. Because such interviews are necessarily difficult and may result in disaster to the relationship that we are trying to establish, they should be postponed if possible until we have already established in other ways a friendly understanding, a structure of friendship which will bear the strain of penetrating inquiries such as these economic matters necessarily entail.