And they hanged Private Simmons--hanged him as high as Haman in hollow
square of the regiment; and the Colonel said it was Drink; and the
Chaplain was sure it was the Devil; and Simmons fancied it was both,
but he didn't know, and only hoped his fate would be a warning to
his companions; and half a dozen 'intelligent publicists' wrote six
beautiful leading articles on 'The Prevalence of Crime in the Army.'
But not a soul thought of comparing the 'bloody-minded Simmons' to the
squawking, gaping schoolgirl with which this story opens.
BLACK JACK
To the wake av Tim O'Hara
Came company,
All St. Patrick's Alley
Was there to see.
_Robert Buchanan_.
As the Three Musketeers share their silver, tobacco, and liquor
together, as they protect each other in barracks or camp, and as they
rejoice together over the joy of one, so do they divide their sorrows.
When Ortheris's irrepressible tongue has brought him into cells for a
season, or Learoyd has run amok through his kit and accoutrements,
or Mulvaney has indulged in strong waters, and under their influence
reproved his Commanding Officer, you can see the trouble in the faces
of the untouched two. And the rest of the regiment know that comment or
jest is unsafe. Generally the three avoid Orderly Room and the Corner
Shop that follows, leaving both to the young bloods who have not sown
their wild oats; but there are occasions--
For instance, Ortheris was sitting on the drawbridge of the main gate
of Fort Amara, with his hands in his pockets and his pipe, bowl down, in
his mouth. Learoyd was lying at full length on the turf of the glacis,
kicking his heels in the air, and I came round the corner and asked for
Mulvaney.
Ortheris spat into the ditch and shook his head. 'No good seein' 'im
now,' said Ortheris; ''e's a bloomin' camel. Listen.'
I heard on the flags of the veranda opposite to the cells, which are
close to the Guard-Room, a measured step that I could have identified
in the tramp of an army. There were twenty paces crescendo, a pause, and
then twenty _diminuendo_.
'That's 'im,' said Ortheris; 'my Gawd, that's 'im! All for a bloomin'
button you could see your face in an' a bit o' lip that a bloomin'
Harkangel would 'a' guv back.'
Mulvaney was doing pack-drill--was compelled, that is to say, to walk up
and down for certain hours in full marching order, with rifle, bayonet,
ammunition, knapsack, and overcoat. And his offence was being dirty on
parade! I nearly fell into the Fort Ditch with astonishment and wrath,
for Mulvaney is the smartest man that ever mounted guard, and would as
soon think of turning out uncleanly as of dispensing with his trousers.
'Who was the Sergeant that checked him?' I asked.
'Mullins, o' course,' said Ortheris. 'There ain't no other man would
whip 'im on the peg so. But Mullins ain't a man.' E's a dirty little
pigscraper, that's wot 'e is.'
'What did Mulvaney say? He's not the make of man to take that quietly.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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