American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
"Oh sir, it's sad for YOU, very sad indeed, and for a great many
gentlemen and ladies; that it is, sir. But for me, sir, it is, if I may
say so, still graver even than that: it's just the loss of something
that was everything. For me, sir," he went on with rising tears, "he was
just ALL, if you know what I mean, sir. You have others, sir, I
daresay--not that I would have you understand me to speak of them as in
any way tantamount. But you have the pleasures of society, sir; if it's
only in talking about him, sir, as I daresay you do freely--for all his
blest memory has to fear from it--with gentlemen and ladies who have had
the same honour. That's not for me, sir, and I've to keep my
associations to myself. Mr. Offord was MY society, and now, you see, I
just haven't any. You go back to conversation, sir, after all, and I go
back to my place," Brooksmith stammered, without exaggerated irony or
dramatic bitterness, but with a flat unstudied veracity and his hand on
the knob of the street-door. He turned it to let me out and then he
added: "I just go downstairs, sir, again, and I stay there."
"My poor child," I replied in my emotion, quite as Mr. Offord used to
speak, "my dear fellow, leave it to me: WE'LL look after you, we'll all
do something for you."
"Ah if you could give me some one LIKE him! But there ain't two such in
the world," Brooksmith said as we parted.
He had given me his address--the place where he would be to be heard of.
For a long time I had no occasion to make use of the information: he
proved on trial so very difficult a case. The people who knew him and
had known Mr. Offord didn't want to take him, and yet I couldn't bear to
try to thrust him among strangers--strangers to his past when not to his
present. I spoke to many of our old friends about him and found them all
governed by the odd mixture of feelings of which I myself was
conscious--as well as disposed, further, to entertain a suspicion that
he was "spoiled," with which, I then would have nothing to do. In plain
terms a certain embarrassment, a sensible awkwardness when they thought
of it, attached to the idea of using him as a menial: they had met him
so often in society. Many of them would have asked him, and did ask him,
or rather did ask me to ask him, to come and see them, but a mere
visiting-list was not what I wanted for him. He was too short for people
who were very particular; nevertheless I heard of an opening in a
diplomatic household which led me to write him a note, though I was
looking much less for something grand than for something human. Five
days later I heard from him. The secretary's wife had decided, after
keeping him waiting till then, that she couldn't take a servant out of a
house in which there hadn't been a lady. The note had a P.S.: "It's a
good job there wasn't, sir, such a lady as some."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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