American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
At last it came to be the case that we all found the closed door more
often than the open one; but even when it was closed Brooksmith managed
a crack for me to squeeze through; so that practically I never turned
away without having paid a visit. The difference simply came to be that
the visit was to Brooksmith. It took place in the hall, at the familiar
foot of the stairs, and we didn't sit down, at least Brooksmith didn't;
moreover it was devoted wholly to one topic and always had the air of
being already over--beginning, so to say, at the end. But it was always
interesting--it always gave me something to think about. It's true that
the subject of my meditation was ever the same--ever "It's all very
well, but what WILL become of Brooksmith?" Even my private answer to
this question left me still unsatisfied. No doubt Mr. Offord would
provide for him, but WHAT would he provide?--that was the great point.
He couldn't provide society; and society had become a necessity of
Brooksmith's nature. I must add that he never showed a symptom of what I
may call sordid solicitude--anxiety on his own account. He was rather
livid and intensely grave, as befitted a man before whose eyes the
"shade of that which once was great" was passing away. He had the
solemnity of a person winding up, under depressing circumstances, a
long-established and celebrated business; he was a kind of social
executor or liquidator. But his manner seemed to testify exclusively to
the uncertainty of OUR future. I couldn't in those days have afforded
it--I lived in two rooms in Jermyn Street and didn't "keep a man"; but
even if my income had permitted I shouldn't have ventured to say to
Brooksmith (emulating Mr. Offord) "My dear fellow, I'll take you on."
The whole tone of our intercourse was so much more an implication that
it was I who should now want a lift. Indeed there was a tacit assurance
in Brooksmith's whole attitude that he should have me on his mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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