THEY intend to send a wire To the moon; And they’ll set the Thames on fire Very soon; Then they learn to make silk purses With their rigs From the ears of LADY CIRCE’S Piggy-wigs. And weasels at their slumbers They’ll trepan; To get sunbeams from cu_cum_bers They’ve a plan. They’ve a firmly rooted notion They can cross the Polar Ocean, And they’ll find Perpetual Motion If they can! These are the phenomena That every pretty domina Hopes that we shall see At this Universitee! As for fashion, they forswear it, So they say, And the circle—they will square it Some fine day; Then the little pigs they’re teaching For to fly; And the niggers they’ll be bleaching By-and-by! Each newly joined aspirant To the clan Must repudiate the tyrant Known as Man; They mock at him and flout him, For they do not care about him, And they’re “going to do without him” If they can! These are the phenomena That every pretty domina Hopes that we shall see At this Universitee! BRAID THE RAVEN HAIR BRAID the raven hair, Weave the supple tress, Deck the maiden fair In her loveliness; Paint the pretty face, Dye the coral lip, Emphasise the grace Of her ladyship! Art and nature, thus allied, Go to make a pretty bride! Sit with downcast eye, Let it brim with dew; Try if you can cry, We will do so, too. When you’re summoned, start Like a frightened roe; Flutter, little heart, Colour, come and go! Modesty at marriage tide Well becomes a pretty bride! THE WORKING MONARCH RISING early in the morning, We proceed to light the fire, Then our Majesty adorning In its work-a-day attire, We embark without delay On the duties of the day. First, we polish off some batches Of political despatches, And foreign politicians circumvent; Then, if business isn’t heavy, We may hold a Royal _levée_, Or ratify some Acts of Parliament: Then we probably review the household troops— With the usual “Shalloo humps” and “Shalloo hoops!” Or receive with ceremonial and state An interesting Eastern Potentate. After that we generally Go and dress our private _valet_—