What profit should I gain Suppose she loved me dearly? Her coldness turns my brain To _verge_ of madness merely. Her kiss—though, Heaven knows, To dream of it were treason— Would tend, as I suppose, To utter loss of reason! My state is not amiss; I would not have a kiss Which, in or out of season, Might tend to loss of reason: What profit in such bliss? A fig for such a kiss! ONE AGAINST THE WORLD IT’S my opinion—though I own In thinking so I’m quite alone— In some respects I’m but a fright. _You_ like my features, I suppose? _I’m_ disappointed with my nose: Some rave about it—perhaps they’re right. My figure just sets off a fit; But when they say it’s exquisite (And they _do_ say so), that’s too strong. I hope I’m not what people call Opinionated! After all, I’m but a goose, and may be wrong! When charms enthral There’s some excuse For measures strong; And after all I’m but a goose, And may be wrong! My teeth are very neat, no doubt; But after all they _may_ fall out: _I_ think they will—some think they won’t. My hands are small, as you may see, But not as small as they might be, At least, _I_ think so—others don’t. But there, a girl may preach and prate From morning six to evening eight, And never stop to dine, When all the world, although misled, Is quite agreed on any head— And it is quite agreed on mine! All said and done, It’s little I Against a throng. I’m only one, And possibly I may be wrong! PUT A PENNY IN THE SLOT IF my action’s stiff and crude, Do not laugh, because it’s rude. If my gestures promise larks, Do not make unkind remarks. Clockwork figures may be found Everywhere and all around. Ten to one, if I but knew, You are clockwork figures too. And the motto of the lot, “Put a penny in the slot!” Usurer, for money lent, Making out his cent per cent— Widow plump or maiden rare, Deaf and dumb to suitor’s prayer— Tax collectors, whom in vain You implore to “call again”— Cautious voter, whom you find Slow in making up his mind— If you’d move them on the spot, Put a penny in the slot! Bland reporters in the courts, Who suppress police reports— Sheriff’s yeoman, pen in fist, Making out a jury list— Stern policemen, tall and spare, Acting all “upon the square”— (Which in words that plainer fall, Means that you can square them all)— If you want to move the lot, Put a penny in the slot! GOOD LITTLE GIRLS