They then proceed to trade with all who’ll trust ’em, Quite irrespective of their capital (It’s shady, but it’s sanctified by custom); Bank, Railway, Loan, or Panama Canal. You can’t embark on trading too tremendous— It’s strictly fair, and based on common sense— If you succeed, your profits are stupendous— And if you fail, pop goes your eighteenpence. Make the money-spinner spin! For you only stand to win, And you’ll never with dishonesty be twitted. For nobody can know, To a million or so, To what extent your capital’s committed! If you come to grief, and creditors are craving (For nothing that is planned by mortal head Is certain in this Vale of Sorrow—saving That one’s Liability is Limited),— Do you suppose that signifies perdition? If so you’re but a monetary dunce— You merely file a Winding-Up Petition, And start another Company at once! Though a Rothschild you may be In your own capacity, As a Company you’ve come to utter sorrow— But the Liquidators say, “Never mind—you needn’t pay,” So you start another Company to-morrow! ANGLICISED UTOPIA SOCIETY has quite forsaken all her wicked courses, Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces. (Divorce is nearly obsolete in England.) No tolerance we show to undeserving rank and splendour; For the higher his position is, the greater the offender. (That’s a maxim that is prevalent in England.) No Peeress at our Drawing-Room before the Presence passes Who wouldn’t be accepted by the lower-middle classes; Each shady dame, whatever be her rank, is bowed out neatly. In short, this happy country has been Anglicised completely! It really is surprising What a thorough Anglicising We’ve brought about—Utopia’s quite another land; In her enterprising movements, She is England—with improvements, Which we dutifully offer to our mother-land!