SAD is that woman’s lot who, year by year, Sees, one by one, her beauties disappear; As Time, grown weary of her heart-drawn sighs, Impatiently begins to “dim her eyes”!— Herself compelled, in life’s uncertain gloamings, To wreathe her wrinkled brow with well-saved “combings”— Reduced, with rouge, lipsalve, and pearly grey, To “make up” for lost time, as best she may! Silvered is the raven hair, Spreading is the parting straight, Mottled the complexion fair, Halting is the youthful gait, Hollow is the laughter free, Spectacled the limpid eye, Little will be left of me, In the coming by-and-by! Fading is the taper waist— Shapeless grows the shapely limb, And although securely laced, Spreading is the figure trim! Stouter than I used to be, Still more corpulent grow I— There will be too much of me In the coming by-and-by! THE HIGHLY RESPECTABLE GONDOLIER I STOLE the Prince, and I brought him here, And left him, gaily prattling With a highly respectable Gondolier, Who promised the Royal babe to rear, And teach him the trade of a timoneer With his own beloved bratling. Both of the babes were strong and stout, And, considering all things, clever. Of that there is no manner of doubt— No probable, possible shadow of doubt— No possible doubt whatever. Time sped, and when at the end of a year I sought that infant cherished, That highly respectable Gondolier Was lying a corpse on his humble bier— I dropped a Grand Inquisitor’s tear— That Gondolier had perished! A taste for drink, combined with gout, Had doubled him up for ever. Of _that_ there is no manner of doubt— No probable, possible shadow of doubt— No possible doubt whatever. But owing, I’m much disposed to fear, To his terrible taste for tippling, That highly respectable Gondolier Could never declare with a mind sincere Which of the two was his offspring dear, And which the Royal stripling! Which was which he could never make out, Despite his best endeavour. Of _that_ there is no manner of doubt— No probable, possible shadow of doubt— No possible doubt whatever. The children followed his old career— (This statement can’t be parried) Of a highly respectable Gondolier: Well, one of the two (who will soon be here)— But _which_ of the two is not quite clear— Is the Royal Prince you married!