I cut me out a heifer from a bunch of pretty girls And yanked her to the center to dance the dreamy whirls. She laid her head upon my bosom in a loving sort of way And we drifted into heaven as the band began to play. I could feel my neck a-burning from her nose's breathing heat, And she do-ce-doed around me, half the time upon my feet; She peered up in my blinkers with a soul-dissolving glance Quite conducive to the pleasures of a high-toned dance. Every nerve just got a-dancing to the music of delight As I hugged the little sagehen uncomfortably tight; But she never made a bellow and the glances of her eyes Seemed to thank me for the pleasure of a genuine surprise. She snuggled up against me in a loving sort of way, And I hugged her all the tighter for her trustifying play,-- Tell you what the joys of heaven ain't a cussed circumstance To the hug-a-mania pleasures of a high-toned dance. When they struck the old cotillion on the music bill of fare, Every bit of devil in me seemed to burst out on a tear. I fetched a cowboy whoop and started in to rag, And cut her with my trotters till the floor began to sag; Swung my pardner till she got sea-sick and rushed for a seat; I balanced to the next one but she dodged me slick and neat.-- Tell you what, I shook the creases from my go-to-meeting pants When I put the cowboy trimmings on that high-toned dance. _James Barton Adams._ THE COWBOYS' CHRISTMAS BALL WAY out in Western Texas, where the Clear Fork's waters flow, Where the cattle are "a-browzin'" and the Spanish ponies grow; Where the Norther "comes a-whistlin'" from beyond the Neutral strip And the prairie dogs are sneezin', as if they had "the Grip"; Where the coyotes come a-howlin' round the ranches after dark, And the mocking-birds are singin' to the lovely "medder lark"; Where the 'possum and the badger, and rattle-snakes abound, And the monstrous stars are winkin' o'er a wilderness profound; Where lonesome, tawny prairies melt into airy streams, While the Double Mountains slumber in heavenly kinds of dreams; Where the antelope is grazin' and the lonely plovers call-- It was there that I attended "The Cowboys' Christmas Ball."