If she had been to blame in her attitude toward Vivian, how far was
she to blame? In what respect was she right? Poor Amanda was now
in a condition where Jane Thomas' stinging remarks could cause her
discomfort. Strangely enough, her greatest consolation was in the
attachment Miss Evy had formed for her.
"I don't know how I could ever have let myself think of you as I used
to think, Mrs. Thomas," the gentle spinster had said once, when they
were upon confidential terms. "I'm shore you're anything but unfeeling."
"Am I called that?" Amanda asked, not without a pang. She was no longer
above caring what people said about her.
"Well, you know some people must have something to say about
everybody," Miss Evy said, apologetically. "But since I know you, why,
I think you're real good; even good enough for Mr. Thomas."
Amanda looked at her when she said that. Something occurred to her that
she had heard a long time ago and forgotten.
"Thank you," she said, quite gently, and turned away.
Miss Evy's hospitality had not been worn out by the severe test made
of it. As a convalescent Vivian had been endearing to the last degree.
It was congenial to him to be waited upon, and the one severe and
immitigable suffering incidental to his illness (and for which he
secretly promised himself royal amends) was almost made up for by the
knowledge that he had at last discovered Amanda's weak point, and could
hereafter, at least in a measure, hold his own. Vivian did not put it
just this way to himself. He had as great a genius for embroidering
facts as Amanda had for truth. What he said was that he was glad to
find that his wife was fond of him, after all. And in a beautiful
spirit he forgave her, and took her to his heart.
This is what Fauquier County understood. But it did not forgive Amanda.
A year later the county might have forgiven her, if she had borne the
misfortune that came to her more meekly. But revolutions of character
are seldom permanent, and Amanda, after compromising with her own
judgment because it found her consistently severe, entered into that
debatable territory where we are swayed alternately by a desire to be
gentle and an impulse to be sharp.
"I don't mean to reproach ye, honey," her mother said, one day when
Amanda was spending the day with her; "but somehow, yo' temper ain't so
even as it used to be. You wuz always high--wantin' things yo' own way.
It ain't so much that now. But you's mo' easy upset than you used to
be."
Amanda turned her dark eyes upon her mother. They were beautiful still.
But that crisis of a woman's life when her beauty begins to fade had
come to her early.
Upon her lap lay a three months' old baby. It had a look of vigor, and
a certain weird beauty about its little face; but not for an instant
during her almost passionate care of it had Amanda been able to forget
something that the flowing robes concealed from casual glances. The
child was hopelessly deformed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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