"Speaking of Operations--"Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Science
"Speaking of Operations--"
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Medicine -- Humor; Operations, Surgical
I reached an inner room where Doctor X was. He looked me over, while I
described for him as best I could what seemed to be the matter with
me, and asked me a number of intimate questions touching on the lives,
works, characters and peculiarities of my ancestors; after which he
made me stand up in front of him and take my coat off, and he punched
me hither and yon with his forefinger. He also knocked repeatedly on my
breastbone with his knuckles, and each time, on doing this, would apply
his ear to my chest and listen intently for a spell, afterward shaking
his head in a disappointed way. Apparently there was nobody at home. For
quite a time he kept on knocking, but without getting any response.
He then took my temperature and fifteen dollars, and said it was an
interesting case--not unusual exactly, but interesting--and that it
called for an operation.
From the way my heart and other organs jumped inside of me at that
statement I knew at once that, no matter what he may have thought, the
premises were not unoccupied. Naturally I inquired how soon he meant
to operate. Personally I trusted there was no hurry about it. I was
perfectly willing to wait for several years, if necessary. He smiled at
my ignorance.
"I never operate," he said; "operating is entirely out of my line. I am
a diagnostician."
He was, too--I give him full credit for that. He was a good, keen, close
diagnostician. How did he know I had only fifteen dollars on me? You
did not have to tell this man what you had, or how much. He knew without
being told.
I asked whether he was acquainted with Doctor Y--Y being a person whom I
had met casually at a club to which I belong. Oh, yes, he said, he
knew Doctor Y. Y was a clever man, X said--very, very clever; but Y
specialized in the eyes, the ears, the nose and the throat. I gathered
from what Doctor X said that any time Doctor Y ventured below the thorax
he was out of bounds and liable to be penalized; and that if by any
chance he strayed down as far as the lungs he would call for help and
back out as rapidly as possible.
This was news to me. It would appear that these up-to-date practitioners
just go ahead and divide you up and partition you out among themselves
without saying anything to you about it. Your torso belongs to one man
and your legs are the exclusive property of his brother practitioner
down on the next block, and so on. You may belong to as many as half a
dozen specialists, most of whom, very possibly, are total strangers to
you, and yet never know a thing about it yourself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account