_Gerald._ I understand--what sum of money wou'd you give to the man, who would dissolve your marriage contract? _Handy, jun._ He means something, sir. _Sir Abel._ Do you think so, Bob? _Gerald._ Would you give a thousand pounds? _Sir Abel._ No! _Handy, jun._ No! _Sir Abel._ No; I would not give one; but I would give five thousand pounds. _Gerald._ Generously offered--a bargain--I'll do it. _Sir Abel._ But, an't you deceiving me? _Gerald._ What should I gain by that? _Sir Abel._ Tell me your name? _Gerald._ Time will tell that. _Lady H._ [_Without._] Sir Abel, where are you? _Gerald._ That's your wife's voice--I know it. _Sir Abel._ So do I. _Gerald._ I'll wait without--Cry, "Hem!" when you want me. _Sir Abel._ Then you need not go far-- [_Exit_ GERALD. I dare not believe it--I should go out of my wits--and then if he fail, what a pickle I shall be in! Here she is. _Enter_ LADY HANDY. _Lady H._ So, sir, I have found you at last? _Handy, jun._ My honoured mamma, you have just come in time to give your consent to my marriage with my sweet Susan. _Lady H._ And do you imagine I will agree to such degradation? _Ash._ Do'e, Lady Nelly, do'e be kind hearted to the young loviers.--Remember how I used to let thee zit up all night a sweethearting. _Lady H._ Silence! and have you dared to consent? [_To_ SIR ABEL. _Sir Abel._ Oh, no, my Lady! _Handy, jun._ Sir, you had better cry--"Hem." _Sir Abel._ I think it's time, Bob--Hem! _Handy, jun._ Hem! _Lady H._ What do you mean by--Hem! _Sir Abel._ Only, my dear, something troublesome I want to get rid of--Hem! _Enter_ GERALD. There he is--never was so frightened in all my life. [GERALD _advances._] _Lady H._ [_Shrieks and exclaims._] Gerald! _Gerald._ Yes. _Lady H._ An't you dead, Gerald? Twenty years away and not dead? _Gerald._ No, wife. _Sir Abel._ Wife! did you say, wife? _Gerald._ Yes. _Sir Abel._ Say it again. _Gerald._ She is my wife. _Sir Abel._ Once more. _Gerald._ My lawful, wedded wife. _Sir Abel._ Oh, my dear fellow!--Oh, my dear boy! Oh, my dear girl!--[_Embraces_ GERALD _and the rest._] Oh, my dear! [_Running to_ MRS. GERALD.] No--yes, now she an't my wife, I will--well--how will you have the five thousand? Will you have it in cash, or in bank notes--or stocks, or India bonds, or lands, or patents, or---- _Gerald._ No--land will do--I wish to kill my own mutton. _Sir Abel._ Sir, you shall kill all the sheep in Hampshire. _Gerald._ Sir Abel, you have lost five thousand pounds, and with it, properly managed, an excellent wife, who, though I cannot condescend to take again as mine--you may depend on't shall never trouble you. Come! this way [_Beckoning to_ MRS. GERALD.]--important events now call on me, and prevent my staying longer with this company. Sir Abel, we shall meet soon. Nay, come, you know I'm not used to trifle; Come, come--[_She reluctantly, but obediently, crosses the stage, and runs off_--GERALD _follows._]