Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories
deliberate continuation, into that interval, of the sentiment of the
piece. Her dresses were taken off her and put on her, for each act, as
if she had been a lay-figure. Once, in the second act, she looked up at
the box; the Italian woman was smiling emptily, but Haygarth, taking no
notice of her, was leaning forward with his eyes fixed on the stage.
After the third act he sent to Esther's dressing-room a fervent note,
begging to be allowed to see her. She had made his play, he said, and
she had made herself a great actress. She crumpled the note fiercely,
put it carefully into her jewel-box, and refused to see him. In the last
act she had to die, after the manner of the Lady of the Camellias,
waiting for the lover who, in this case, never came. The pathos of her
acting was almost unbearable, and, still, it seemed not like acting at
all. The curtain went down on a great actress.
Esther went home stunned, only partly realising what she had done, or
how she had done it. She read over the note from Haygarth,
unforgivingly; and the long letter that came from him in the morning. As
reflection returned, through all the confused suffering and excitement,
to her deliberate, automatic nature, in which a great shock had brought
about a kind of release, she realised that all she had wanted, during
most of her life, had at last come about. The note had been struck, she
had responded to it, as she responded to every suggestion, faultlessly;
she knew that she could repeat the note, whenever she wished, now that
she had once found it. There would be no variation to allow for, the
actress was made at last. She might take back her lover, or never see
him again, it would make no difference. It would make no difference, she
repeated, over and over again, weeping uncontrollable tears.
CHRISTIAN TREVALGA.
He had never known what it was to feel the earth solid under his feet.
And now, while he waited for the doctor who was to decide whether he
might still keep his place in the world, and make what he could of all
that remained to him of his life, the past began to come back to him,
blurred a little in his memory, and with whole spaces blotted out of it,
but in a steady return upon himself, as the past, it is said, comes back
to a drowning man at the instant before death. There was that next step
to take, the step that frightened him; was it into another, more
painful, kind of oblivion? He was still an artist, his fingers were
still his own; but had the man all gone out of him, the power to live
for himself, when his fingers were no longer on the keyboard? That was
to be decided; and the past was trying to make its own comment on the
situation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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