Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories
'Yes, yes,' he said, 'I remember, but there was one thing I am almost
sure I did not tell you, and it is curious. I don't understand it
myself. Do you know what it is to be haunted by colours? There is
something like a temptation of the devil, to me, in the colour green. I
know it is the commonest colour in nature, it is a good, honest colour,
it is the grass, the trees, the leaves, very often the sea. But no, it
isn't like that that it comes to me. To me it is an aniline dye,
poisoning nature. I adore and hate it. I can never get away from it. If
I paint a group outside a café at Montmartre by gas-light or electric
light, I paint a green shadow on the faces, and I suppose the green
shadow isn't there; yet I paint it. Some tinge of green finds its way
invariably into my flesh-colour; I see something green in rouged cheeks,
in peroxide-of-hydrogen hair; green lays hold of this poor, unhappy
flesh that I paint, as if anticipating the colour-scheme of the grave. I
know it, and yet I can't help doing it; I can't explain to you how it is
that I at once see and don't see a thing; but so it is.
'And it grew upon me too like an obsession. I always wanted to keep my
eyes perfectly clear, so that I could make my own arrangements of things
for myself, deliberately; but this, in some unpleasant way, seemed
horribly like "nature taking the pen out of one's hand and writing," as
somebody once said about a poet. I would rather do all the writing
myself; the more so, as I have to translate as I go.'
He broke off suddenly, as if a wave of exhaustion had come over him. His
eyes, which had been very bright, had gone dull again, and he let his
head droop till the chin rested on his breast.
'I have tired you,' I said, 'you must not talk any more. Try to go to
sleep now, and I will come back another day.'
'To-morrow?' he said, looking at me sleepily.
I promised. When I went back the next day he was weaker, but he insisted
on sitting up and talking. He spoke of his wife, without affection and
without bitterness; he spoke of death, with so little apprehension, or
even curiosity, that I was startled. His art was still a much more
realisable thing to him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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